Help advice

[justme1]

I am new to this site and looking for some insight, advice, and connection. Two weeks ago I went to my employers EAP for some help. I have been having trouble coping. I work have two kids a husband and a busy life but for the last two years it has become more difficult. I don't want to do anything I don't want to go anywhere. I squeak by life doing the very minimal. For the last year I felt like my life has no purpose and people would be better off is I wasn't around. My saving grace has been my relationship with my sisters but two weeks ago I had a major blow out with one of my sister. This caused me to fall apart and seek help. In talking with the counselor I realized that my problems run deeper. I've had previously mentioned my mood with my primary care doctor and she prescribed wellbutrin. I hadn't been taking regularly because it caused me to feel very anxious which than made have anxiety and need to take anxiety meds during the day and also didn’t allow me to sleep. Sleep is one of my bigger issues I can't sleep. This week I've had about a total of 10 hours of sleep. I don't shower every day I don't know why but I wash my hair and clean my body with wash cloth. I can't get myself to go into the shower more than once a week. I feel like I have no one that will understand. My husband and one sister know what is going on but all they say is get help. It’s not that easy.

Just to get this out of the way. My meds - Wellbutrin, Ambiem CR, Aprozalam.

Long story short the counselor believes have severe depression and need to sign up for an outpatient program. It's a 6 week program 2 weeks, 5 days a week 9:00 am - 3:00 pm. 1 week 4 days, 1 week 3 days, 1 week 2 days, 1 week 1 day. I am terrified that it might not work. I want advice from anyone who has done a program like this or any advice to help. I don't want to talk to friends and family because I don't want anyone to know. I am ashamed. I am a person who has always preached "just get over it". I feel week and useless. I don't know why I can't handle life. I see other mothers/wife and they are happy and have energy

[Obayan]

Just get over it is never a solution or a help. Therapy has helped a lot with me. I was hospitalised at one point in time, but to be honest, it made things worse to a point. It's the therapy and getting to talk to someone that helped more than anything else.

We also have a chatroom for depression here at DU that you may find helpfull.

[balcony]

Justme1, I am very sorry you are having such a difficult time. Family, work, and friends are hard enough to coordinate and take care of, when you add depression and sleep deprivation it all becomes overwhelming.
I can't answer you question about the out patient program, but, I will say if you trust your doctor and read up and inform yourself about the program maybe it would be a good thing to get you through this difficult time. (((((Justme1)))))) please don't feel the shame. Depression strikes all different types of people for all different types of reasons and no one is to blame. It is not a sign of weakness. You are taking the steps to get better and I hope that things start to improve for you soon.
Good luck and hope to hear from you again.