how to handle my mum?

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My mum is 75 yrs old ,she a stroke patience n also senile.... she can walk all by herself with the help of the walking stick. My family n i are mad about her because her behaviour is just a small kid but some time she also very fierce and smart.

I have try to treat her as young child cause she could not remember certain thing but sometime she can remember her youth day !!!!

She love to take paper n pen n jot down any words she saw around her, she can wake up in the middle of the night and start writing My helper will have problem looking after her at this hrs....she can b very dirty as in picking up the toilet paper that left in the toilet bowl, she will pick thing from the floor n put it in her mouth.....lots of thing that normal human will not do....but she will ...

I already hv tones of worried , sometimes when the whole house are noisy because of her, i got the urge to bring her out of the house and go to other world so i can meet my brother and also give my family a peace of mind, instead of the frastration we face everyday.

I use to have a happy n jovial family. now i cant feel the same as before. I hate the nag nag n all the noise n scolding, am tired very tired. Every day coming back from work, i will hear tonne of complaint about my mother ...

It my duty to take care of my mum. I need to protect her. I cant leave her alone..... Nobody understand my situation, i wanted to voice out but my chest n my mind stop me from doing all this.... i can feel the pressure start from the throat to the head, had try to release but i cant.... how to bring back my mum to be her normal self....

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Thanks Fais for the comfort msg. Am 4yrs ur senior n my dad pass away this yr. In my life of 43yrs, sadly to say i only know him less then a yr cos he work oversea n only come back for passport renewel n also he had another family in tat country.

Since young i have tell myself , i will give all my love to my mum cos she nv remarry nor complaint of hardship by raising the 3 of us. Unfortunately, she got a stroke when she was age 55.

Her condition get worst n become senile when she got a second stroke 8yrs ago. Doctor also got no medication for her condition (senile), only normal standard medication for her high blood pressure n cholestro...

I hate to see my hubby for scolding her again n again over every morning n night, it hurt me but knowing she is really dirty n disgusting on her behaviour.
I love her n my hubby. Am just sandwich in between the 2.

There are many occassion , i wanted to voice out n talk to my hubby but just words cant come out from my mouth . It the pressure from my neck to my head, i just dun understand why i cant do it during then. Maybe am just soft spoken n hide all pressure for myself.

I can feel my kids dun like the nag nag n noise at home. I may consider selfish n have the thinking by committing suicide with her will help ease the frastrution at home. But everytime come to my sense , what if am not successfull in suicide n end up half paralyse ....

I just hope n pray to God n informing my decease brother to give back my mother her normal self....

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Fais, thanks for all the support and suggestion. I understand ur position cause my mum-in-law is almost same as ur mummy lucky she not staying with me, if not my house will b up side down.

I have try to ask for few nursing home for my mum, but we cant afford it cos it really very expensive in SG. I have a helper to look after my house n my mum but still struggle for every month bills .

Lets us start our prayer and hope God will answer it soooon. Wish U all the best and break free too