CoachCrystalDVOF's Story (Triggering)

[CoachCrystalD]

CoachCrystalDVOF’s story (triggering)

I have a unique story to tell about myself. I grew up between Dallas and Louisana half of my life. The other half I lived it in Big Bend National Park. It was going from massive amounts of people to nobody. I suppose that is how my illness started. I was forced to leave my friends and start over. Making friends in Big Bend was no easy task. The population there mostly spoke Spanish as they crossed the river into Texas. Guess what? I didn’t and was the outcast. The kids were very cruel to me. I guess that is where my fear of people came from too. Interesting. This is the first time that I have written my story as it happened in it’s entirety. I started getting depressed when I had PMS at 11. At 16, I couldn’t run any more because I was having issues breathing. The doctors told my mom it was Anxiety. They were half right. I was later diagnosed with Asthma and Anxiety. I grew up with a little sister, Tiffani who is 4 years younger and was quite mischievous to say the least. I love her today, didn’t back then. She would get me into trouble all the time. Lol…..Anyways, I grew up thinking that my dad favored her because I wasn’t good enough. I thought he was my biological dad. From age 12-16, When my mom would walk outta the room folding laundry, cooking, cleaning and being a great wife, her husband would touch me inappropriately. My family still does not know. He would make comments about my chest, etc. I thought he was so sick and awful. I really had no where to turn when I was scared. I told mom a year after she left that it happened once. She called CPS and there was not any evidence of him abusing me. Just my word. I was let down again. He would call me a “Whore, just like your momma.” I’d fight back. My mom never cheated and I was not having sex or nothing at this time. I was a holy girl, a Jesus FREAK through and through. God was the only place I could turn and feel good again. Then, one day, I found a letter that had my name but someone elses last name on it. I confronted my mom on whether I was adopted or not. She lied to me. The one person who had my back utterly betrayed me. She got in contact with my bio dad and I tried for 2 years to have a relationship with him. He loved his weed more than his daughter. He could not handle the fact that I look exactly like my momma. My momma is so pretty. She’s a good woman. At 17, my mom met my stepdad and 4 months later he moved in. He had (and still has) my back against the world. I love Ed very much. However, he entered the picture after my belief of being no good was already in my mind. I moved out on my own at 17. One month after being on my “own” for the first time, I met a 27 year old guy. He wanted to take me out. Being naïve and thinking he was harmless, I let him. It was my 18th birthday after all. I lost my faith in God before this and just didn’t care any more. I gave my virginity away to guys because who cares. I didn’t care about myself at all. Any ways, on my 18th bday I got drunk with the 27 year old. He’s not worthy of a name. He wedged himself in my apartment. I was starved and tortured, beaten, for two weeks. I thought I was gonna die there. I finally broke free one day and ran away. I lost my job and my apartment. I told the police what happened and they did not have rape kits back then. I did have bruises on my arms. I was wearing long sleeves in the hot Texas weather. A friend of mine who was a cop got mad and we fought to have rape kits available. It protects both parties. I still believed in good men and dated. I got pregnant a year later with my son, Dylan. I loved his dad but he got into drugs and got violent. I left with the child and hid for 10 years. Dylan does know his bio dad. I wasn’t gonna do what my parents did. I met and married a guy, Alejandro Montoya, from Chihuahua Mexico. My parents warned me that this was gonna be a bad situation in my life. At that point, I really didn’t care what I did, nothing pleased them anyway. I moved to Dallas, Texas and was married for 5 years. I was gonna leave because Alex didn’t like to work and put everything on me. He talked me into getting drunk with him and having one last good night. We tried to “work it out”. Did I mention I was also dealing with a child that acted like a demon, literally? He never slept. Dylan was later the youngest kid ever to get medicated for ADHD. Last year, we found out that he is also mildly Autistic. He lives a normal and full life now without meds. A month later, I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter, Anabella Esperanza Montoya. Her name means beautiful hope. I wanted her and me to have hope for a good future. I got Depression really bad after Ana. I was psychotic. I never want to go to that bad place again. I was having auditory hallucinations and paranoia. It really scared me. I couldn’t control it. CPS took my kids for awhile because of it. I had to recover. Once I recovered 100% and had two weeks until I was free, My ex picked up Ana and left me and Dylan homeless. I had a job at Parkland Memorial hospital waiting on a test to be an EKG tech. I also had a job offer for the Dallas Mavericks. I still love the Mavs. I had to move in with my sister. That’s when my life changed completely. She didn’t tell me that she became a Christian and was going to a spirit led non demonominational church. She “thumped me on the head” with the Bible to no avail. I was still mad at men, I hated them. I was mad at God for all the stuff that happened. I lost a baby before I had Dylan. I was depressed over that. I just was lost. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. After months, I decided to go to church with my sister. I felt God’s presence for the first time and I fell completely in love with God. The people at the church were real about their lives and loving God, plus others. I was home. I have been serving God for 9 years now. He has given me a great husband. We’ve been married for 6 years now. (I almost sabotaged that one). I have another child, Isaac who is 5. I have a home, a car, am going to school to be a counselor. I have Fibro and proud of it. I am healing day by day baby step by baby step. I am a life coach, counselor, minister and healer. God is real and he is love. What he can do for me, he will do for you. I want to give you hope. I am thinking of writing a book about my life and Fibromyalgia. I may have to leave out key pieces due to the whole family thing. I have a great relationship with my adopted dad. He repented, apologized and came to know God through my forgiveness. He now has Alzheimer’s and lives in a nursing home. Life is wild. Grab on and keep going. It’s worth living. Oh yeah, I have a radio show coming out and cohost one. I’m the Voice of Fibromyalgia.

CoachCrystalDVOF