I have ruined my life & marriage

[janet]

Hi there,

I fall in love with a colleague of mine, L after joining the company for around 4 months and we had an affair yesterday. However, I started to feel so wrong and felt being sexually abused. I started to panic and called my hubby abt it. My hubby went to lodge a police report with me. I was indeed touched but he no longer forgive me, anymore.

I know it's not possible for me to do so, anymore.

I was very stupid. I shouldn't let the guy has the chance to go to a hotel with me...I really wished that I can turn back time.

Pls tell me is this my fault?

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Hello janet,

The only person that is qualified to answer this question is yourself.

Perhaps talk with your husband about it.

Warmsoul

[caspergal]

I managed to get a 3 months cooling period from my husband and I have quit my last job too.
My hubby refuses to listen to my explanation and I went to seek the FSC for help. I will be seeing a counselor next week.
Meanwhile, I keep myself preoccupied with interview appoiontments. I hope that I will get a job soon so that I can distract myself from the incident too. Basically, I cries to sleep almost everyday. The thought of loosing my hubby is too much for me. What's more, I felt shameful of what I shouldn't have done and I hate myself for ruining my life and hurting my hubby.

[caspergal]

S & J rented out 1 of their rooms out b4 the incident. Their tenant knew that they are separated and decided to leave the place too. After all, there isn't anyone in the house besides the tenant. S tries to seize every opportunity to see or hear from J again. She fears that J will tell her that he wishes to divorce her in 3 mths time again! She cries almost every nights just cox of this. The only help she gets is from the depression helpline.
Thx god, S was in touch with her tenant and get to know the time she is meeting with J. Without hesitation, S packed her bag, took the train n off home she went. She only has 1 thing in her mind, to c J again. She saw J at 2000hrs BUT she saw J's parents too. Thxfully, she wrote a letter to her mum-in-law previously, telling her about her intention for the 3 mths grace period and her in laws initiate to leave the place. GOD is blessing S!
After the parents' in law departure, it was awkwardness for S & J. J just bury himself with the clearance of the house and choose not to look at S. S was devastated. She did not give up. She told J bravely the real reason for rushing by. She cried and asked J is it so irritating for him to c her again. J answered 'No'. However, when she asked J if he is going to say the same thing in 3 mths time, he says he don't know. S managed to grab hold of J and hug him.
And this was their conversation:-
S: I am sorry, pls give me 1 min of your time to hug u.
J: silence
S: I am sorry to disturb u but I really can't stop myself from missing u. Pls don't push me away. I am really v scared till I cry everyday cox I worry that I will lose u.
J: I need to go, I have to work tomorrow. Pls let me go
S: If I were to say that I want us to patch back in 3 mths time, will u allow me?
J: We shall talk abt it in 3 mths time.
And J open the gate and asked S to remember to lock the door b4 she leave.
S: Will I get a chance to c u again?
J: In 3 mths time, then.
S: Crying badly...How can I c u again if I want to?
J: Didn't u say that u want to catch a movie together? Wait till I am free then.

S knows that she will never get to c J again...till 3 mths later. She knows that J is not giving her any chance and is making things difficult for her. BUT S is not going to give up so easily. She will keep trying.

Bless her.

[caspergal]

It is not easy for S to talk to J coz he full of anger now. I would say that we will be seeking help from a counselor. Thx for the advice, anyway.

[koolmodee21209]

i wish i could say i feel sorry for you but im a guy on the recieving end of a betrayal like this,but what i can say is at least you had the decency to come fourth to your partner and say it to him,maybe in time he can forgive you,unlike my experience i had to find out by snooping around when i was told what was a bunch of lies,at least you have a base point by being honest from the go,its a foundation to have a hope as im sure he still loves you,like i love my ex,but she will remain my ex as the trust n forgiveness i cant give,we have a child together also and i thought about trying to get back together but then i felt the same would only happen again,this was 2 years ago now and theres a pain still there although not as bad,it is a pain for my son that he will never have the family life he deserved through his mothers wrong doings,im not trying to make you feel any worse than im sure you must,and yes people make mistakes,but these kind of mistakes in my opinion are unforgivable,just giving you a honest view from someone who considers himself a good honest guy who lost everything he hoped for to my ex partner been unfaithful