when no where else feels safe.

[appletree]

..

[TackingIntoTheWind]

I have to say clearly and at the start that I have relatively little experience of relationships, and I am SOOOO not an expert on " matters of the heart ".
However, reading your post I find that several, rather disturbing, questions occur to me.
If I were to meet my " soulmate " I'd want to enjoy her " diversity ". By which I mean, I'd WANT her to have her own thoughts, feelings, life, dreams, plans...etc. I'd want to hear about them, compare them with my own, quite possibly learn from hers, and improve and deepen mine in the process.
I'd want my relationship with her to be a " safe space ", where I could help her become more the best " herself " that she might want to be. Just as she, I would hope, would help me be the best " me " that I can be.

" i've always been a strong person , that is until I met my current boyfriend.. "
" i'm starting to feel a prisoner in this relationship. "
" i've lost all self-conviction and all confidence in who i am..there's hardly anything i do now that doesn't seek his approval. "
" I don't see my friends anymore because he doesn't like them. "
" he likes to keep me to himself.."
" I don't think i'm happy in this relationship.."
(((( appletree )))), I'm so painfully aware of how little I know about relationships. In fact, I decided at first not to reply to this post at all. But, in truth and honour, I have to say that this doesn't sound much like love to me.
I'm SOOOO hoping that one of the more experienced and wiser female members of this site will have better advice for you than these stumbling thoughts. But, I have to say that I have a bad feeling about this relationship. Do you have a trusted, " best friend ", or parent who you could go to, who could give you an impartial " outside " view of this relationship? Sometimes the old saying about " love being blind " can be all too sadly true.
At the end of the day, I would have to say that I believe that a good, loving relationship would have to be an equal partnership of two autonomous, independent individuals. Surely, in such a relationship, wouldn't it be wrong for either partner to be " fading in the shadow " of the other?
Take care of yourself! And, please remember that, ( To borrow a phrase from the U. N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights. ), " All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights ", you do not belong to anyone but yourself.

[crystalgaze]

I saw these posts & I had to say that....

If you lose your identity in a relationship, RUN.... Again, that's R-U-N.

It's going to sound weird, but FORGET WHAT YOU HAVE INVESTED. There will be another person.

Now here's why I said what I said. If you DO NOT forget what you have invested, there will NEVER be a good time to leave. There will always be some reason to stay & that's what you do not want.

Even if what you are going to do is to separate for a while for you to get yourself together, then that's what you do.

"I feel like I'm unraveling & I need some time to get myself together. I want to be the best I can be for us (even if that's HOW you want to put it)." No calls. No being together or seeing each other. None of that.

I encourage even something like this because: You want to be AWAKE & ALERT to see what you may need to see, in the event something happens. What if there is a dark side to your man that you are too blind to see because you're so out of it?

I encourage you to be more present for your relationship. PLEASE & that's for your own sake! You can do it & take care!

[watsonr93]

My opinion is that we always so every people very kindly and with the humanity . the real story is behind that the i help the poor people he is really trouble situation.