This is the way people enjoy treating ME.
Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 12:22 pm
Firstly, I would like to explain why im so lonely, depressed with no friends and living a double life.
My mother has severe bi-polar depression, so I was raised by my dad. A couple of years ago my mother decides to go off the rails, divorce my dad and spend her days at the local grubby pub, sleeping with all the alcoholics she could.
This caused me to have a nervous breakdown. My friends were fantastic but soon after i started back to school i noticed they were starting to make comments, ' Those shoes are disgusting' it started off with, and in the end it was comments like' No wonder your mothers a w**** with a daughter like you' yeah you guessed it, they had turned on me like dogs and they know Everything that went on.
I began to fall deeper and deeper into depression and i planned out my suicide and stuck to it. It didnt work though obviously.
I began emergency counselling and as hard as i can imagine this would be to believe, the counsellor decided he wanted to make me draw things like a child to show 'whats happened' despite knowing that i was a Gcse psychology student and that i had already told him why i tried to kill myself, he also told me his problems and i was leaving there worse than i came out, i didnt go to one appointment because i forgot , and i got kicked out of counselling. failed by my mother, my friends and people in proffesional areas who knew what i had been through already.
I still dont trust anyone, i dont love anyone or anything.
But i realise that this isnt normal, its not what happens to most, but i dont understand why this had to be me.
I started college in september and i thought 'this is it' and i decided to be myself and just stop being quiet, it worked , and i do have quite a few friends, but the thing is, they like to make a fol of me at times, and they seem to all be close but not as close to me, this is how it started with my 'friends', when they walk, i have to sometimes walk behind because they wont make room and walk with me but then at times they are all like my best friends and nice to me, invite me to parties and stuff , and ive only known them since september.
Im not really sure how to act around people so i suppose i act a bti ditsy and silly, and thats maybe why people sometimes take advantage of me.
I even made sure that i went to college in a different town incase people know who i am and it starts all over again, but i was obviously wrong. i have little friends on social networking sites too because i dont want abuse and as i was quiet before i didnt get out much to make friends, and people are beginning to catch on that i have hardly any friends, and by this i mean i have 1 outside college.
Im just so fed up of life being unfair and i dont know what to do apart from getting a counsellor/therapist and hoping for the best.
I dont know how to meet more people, maybe it would be easier if i was able to go to clubs and the like but i cant because im 16 :/
Please help me.
My mother has severe bi-polar depression, so I was raised by my dad. A couple of years ago my mother decides to go off the rails, divorce my dad and spend her days at the local grubby pub, sleeping with all the alcoholics she could.
This caused me to have a nervous breakdown. My friends were fantastic but soon after i started back to school i noticed they were starting to make comments, ' Those shoes are disgusting' it started off with, and in the end it was comments like' No wonder your mothers a w**** with a daughter like you' yeah you guessed it, they had turned on me like dogs and they know Everything that went on.
I began to fall deeper and deeper into depression and i planned out my suicide and stuck to it. It didnt work though obviously.
I began emergency counselling and as hard as i can imagine this would be to believe, the counsellor decided he wanted to make me draw things like a child to show 'whats happened' despite knowing that i was a Gcse psychology student and that i had already told him why i tried to kill myself, he also told me his problems and i was leaving there worse than i came out, i didnt go to one appointment because i forgot , and i got kicked out of counselling. failed by my mother, my friends and people in proffesional areas who knew what i had been through already.
I still dont trust anyone, i dont love anyone or anything.
But i realise that this isnt normal, its not what happens to most, but i dont understand why this had to be me.
I started college in september and i thought 'this is it' and i decided to be myself and just stop being quiet, it worked , and i do have quite a few friends, but the thing is, they like to make a fol of me at times, and they seem to all be close but not as close to me, this is how it started with my 'friends', when they walk, i have to sometimes walk behind because they wont make room and walk with me but then at times they are all like my best friends and nice to me, invite me to parties and stuff , and ive only known them since september.
Im not really sure how to act around people so i suppose i act a bti ditsy and silly, and thats maybe why people sometimes take advantage of me.
I even made sure that i went to college in a different town incase people know who i am and it starts all over again, but i was obviously wrong. i have little friends on social networking sites too because i dont want abuse and as i was quiet before i didnt get out much to make friends, and people are beginning to catch on that i have hardly any friends, and by this i mean i have 1 outside college.
Im just so fed up of life being unfair and i dont know what to do apart from getting a counsellor/therapist and hoping for the best.
I dont know how to meet more people, maybe it would be easier if i was able to go to clubs and the like but i cant because im 16 :/
Please help me.