Depression Understood Forums

my first memior of depression was when my mom removed me from my grandparents and we left with Man i didn't know. i later found out he was my father. he was very mean an alcholic, abused my mom and us. he was a womanlizer, had kids everywhere, then u didn't pay child support, we moved all the time. i was 6 and that was my first break down. i came home from school and i told my mother i wanted to die and i hated myself and i cried for hours. i prayed god would take me, i asked why i was even born. after that i only remember bits and pieces, i was a very unhappy child. abused, scared, and alone. i thought of sucide many times just never followed through with it. sometime i don't remember how i survived, it like a blurrr. there more just one step at a time maybe it will help to finally talk about it. what i can remember,, i do believe god did protect me that way, to block out most of the bad stuff, but now i'm older i need to shake this feeling to move on.

Hi. Sounds like it wasn't easy for you at a very young age. As for "shaking it off", i wish it was that simple. Have you spoken to a counselor yet? It can help a lot with dealing with these emotions.

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