There's Nothing Worse than Being Alone..

[LittleMiss]

There you have it. I think the subject says it all, but i guess i should go into more detail lol.

.. not sure where to begin, but oh well...

so Let me just say i hate myself, and for as long as i can remember i'v always been unhappy in my life.. (hmmm.. i've not read anything on this site before but i doubt i'm saying anything new to anybody lol, if anyone is even reading this lol...)

i'm alone. and for the longest time i never understood just what i was feeling, what that 'void' really was. and i think the main source of all my unhappiness is that i'm lonely.. that or i'm lonely because of the sandess..

it will never matter how many friends i do or don't have. i feel as though i'll always be alone.. i suppose i'm so lonely due to, i don't have 'myself'..

god... i hate to even type this... (pathetic, yes i know) i cringe just by the thought of all of this, i honestly do. but i'v come to realize, no matter how much i try to change my thought process behind everything, and my life in general, i'll always somehow be unhappy.. god, i hate myself. i hate 'even'saying that i hate myself.

it will never matter how pretty i am. it will never matter how many 'friends' i have. it will never matter how much talent i have. i'll never like myself.. i try so hard to be happy. i want it so bad, to the point that i can't even explain. and the thought of this just tares me up inside..

[crystalgaze]

Wow.... Well, you are being honest about it. Hhmm....

I'll tell you how I dealt with that one. It took a while to come to a point on the positive side.

Let's take the example of a bar.

___________________|_______________________

You see that? I was on the leftmost end, where I didn't like myself. To be able to stop kicking myself, I then took to the middle point, or the | . That | was were I became neutral about it--for damage control.

Do I like myself? Or am I pretty? My reply was always either "I am what I am" or "I am just me (whatever that was)".

Eventually, once I stopped ragging on myself all the time, I came to be able to say, "Yeah, I like myself." or "Yeah, I'm pretty." or "Yeah, I look cute!" or "Yeah, I look good!" or "Heck yeah, I love myself!"....

(There were some things that weren't quite right for me. For example, I hadn't found a good hair salon, where people would tell me what would look good on me & what wasn't currently working, in all honesty. I just found a lady & my current style looks the world better. Recently, I had my eyebrows cut a way I wanted it, but the lady who did it didn't say to me, "You know, it's really not going to look good on you with your haircut." Another thing was I was wearing clothes that didn't fit me well & thus could not ever look good on me.)

Now, here's an activity for you. See how long you can go without using the words 'hate' & 'never'. When those 2 come up in your mind or whatever, that's when you STOP or say NO or TIMEOUT. You used those 2 words a lot in your post. (My mom always said not to use them because they were pretty strong words. If I ever said hate around her, she would say, "No, you dislike it or don't like it. It was something to that effect....)

You may also see if you can get to a doctor--just to be on the safe side. (Even I went kicking & screaming at one point to a doctor.... although I don't really like mental health professionals very much.)

Take care & welcome!

[Lala_Blue]

I have just joined this forum because my loneliness got too much for me to bear and your post was the first I read.

You are not alone in feeling this way. I have been suffering from depression for a long time, I have been up and down but somehow I always had some hope.

This time I feel hopeless and I too feel very lonely. The only piece of advice would be to seek out other people in your community who feel the same way, because they are out there. Through your shared loneliness perhaps you can find understanding and at the very least some peace of mind that comes from knowing that while you are lonely, at least you are not alone in dealing with this.

[crystalgaze]

Hi Lala_Blue! Welcome to you!

[Obayan]

big hugs out there for lala, chrystal and littlemiss

[sid]

looks like u have a lot of people listening u not alone here

[Obayan]

Alone... it's a damnable word. One of the worst. But I think there is something out there worse than being alone. And that's being with the wrong person. I personally, would rather feel the temporary emptiness of being alone for a while rather than feel the pain of a wrong relationship. The pain will take a lot longer to heal and make it even more difficult in the next relationship. People will come and go throughout our lives. Being alone is a temporary condition. Sometimes that time alone lasts a bit longer than other times, but it's still temporary. There are so many different types of relationships out there to be had and enjoyed. Friends, family, close friends, aquaintences, co-workers, etc.... I hold very strongly to the belief that nothing good in this life ever happens just once. And nothing ever stays the same forever.

[TackingIntoTheWind]

What can I say, (((( Obayan ))))? You are SOOOOOOO right.
I have felt very lonely and terribly alone at times. But, like you, I still do believe that being alone and lonely for a while is better than being with the wrong person.