Strange question.. should I go to couples counseling alone?

[CMX999]

Hello, first time posting here. Haven't ever officially been diagnosed with depression, but think I suffer from it. I am a 27-year-old female from Florida. My story would take hours to tell you, lol, but basically I am finding out that I am HORRIBLE at relationships. They seem to bring out the worst in me. I just kept thinking that I wasn't with the right people, would often take time just being single to figure out what I really want in a person, meet someone who I thought fit the criteria, it's great in the beginning, then all of the sudden it's the worst thing ever. Break up with them, start the cycle over. Dating guys makes me cry, be angry, I never feel loved enough, am always seeing the negative, etc etc. I date good guys who treat me good. I went to regular counseling last year and it seemed to help, I stopped b/c I felt better, but I am starting to wonder if I should see a relationship counselor to work out my relationship issues, b/c when I am single I never feel this bad or low. But I don't want to bring current BF b/c frankly I feel the problem is me, no matter what relationship I am in. Does this seem like a weird idea, and if so what kind of counselor should I see instead? I have had lots of bad things happen in my life, alcoholic parents, molestation/rape, physical/mental abuse, I've done a lot of drugs in the past, did a lot of crazy things, still can't figure out what I want to do with my life, and just feel miserable all the time. HELP!

[Obayan]

I don't know if this is you or not, but sometimes, we sabotage our relationships. Sometimes it is on a subconscious level. If things are good, we do things to make it bad because we feel we don't deserve the good. Sometimes we seek out those that are not good for us thinking that's what we deserve. We think it's great at first because we found what we are looking for, then we see reality set in. I think talking to a counselor would be a good idea. CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) is what helped me to find the patterns in my life and take steps to change it.

[CMX999]

Thanks for responding.. I've heard about CBT, what is it?

[Obayan]

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy = CBT

CBT is a psychotherapeutic approach that aims to solve problems concerning dysfunctional emotions, behaviors and cognitions through a goal-oriented, systematic procedure. The title is used in diverse ways to designate behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, and to refer to therapy based upon a combination of basic behavioral and cognitive research.
There is empirical evidence that CBT is effective for the treatment of a variety of problems, including mood, anxiety, personality, eating, substance abuse, and psychotic disorders. Treatment is often manualized, with specific technique-driven brief, direct, and time-limited treatments for specific psychological disorders. CBT is used in individual therapy as well as group settings, and the techniques are often adapted for self-help applications.

[CMX999]

Thanks..I tried to look for CBT under my insurance, but unfortunately there were none in my area. Only thing I could find was group therapy & licensed professional counselor. Any suggestions as to which I should go to? My funds are limited & my insurance went up so I can only afford to do 1/ week. thanks

[crystalgaze]

If you are looking for a particular type of counselor.... Perhaps getting their phone number or address will help. That way you can call them or go in personally & find out what their specialty is BEFORE you see them.

??? Like I've seen ads for some counselors & they put out what their specialties are: addiction, children, family, etc. Maybe the family one would cover it??? The best thing to do would be to ask the person who you get on the phone or see (secretary or whomever).

Just a thought & hello to you!