Letter I'll never send

[EternallySilent]

Just a little way I vent my frustrations. I usually keep them saved as drafts on my phone, but because of my 'impolite' behavior I am left without a cell phone for another 4 days.

Dear Matthew,
Do you know that you were the first guy to tell me I was beautiful? You used to tell me every day how amazing I was. Remember that? I assume you remember it quite well because you said it just a couple of weeks ago. You were my first 'love', or at least I wanted you to be. You were dating my friend Melissa.

I heard you guys broke up today. I wasn't all that sad, but it didn't make me happy. I never loved you. I watched you kiss Melissa every day and felt no more than a slight sense of awkwardness. You would say I was a great person, but you only knew one side of me. When we talked it was always about you. Always. Some part of me wanted to be noticed and loved, so I became your 'Forbidden Fruit' in a way. I made myself seem perfect.

See, you would always complain to me about 'Melissa does this' or 'Melissa hates when I do that' and I would simply become the opposite. You told me once, "I like you for who you are, not what you look like." Well, truthfully you never even knew me. You don't know me. I think my brother is the only person on this planet who really knows me, and he's 400 miles away. I'm not even sure if he knows me anymore. I don't even know myself.

So, Matthew, while your affection was certainly flattering, it was ignorant. In fact, it made things worse. Melissa found out you liked me. She didn't break up with you like she should have. She trusted you, and I had to listen to you betray her without saying a word because my 'Forbidden' side always did what you wanted it to.


You whine about how your mom won't buy you a ps3 and make me feel pathetic. You even tore my friendship with Melissa apart. So, goodbye and good riddance. I'm deleting your number as soon as I get my phone back.

-Sam

[crystalgaze]

((((((((((( Eternal ))))))))))))

I hope you are able to deal with that soon & successfully. I'm at a loss of words really (very clumsy with relationship stuff) but I wanted to let you know that I did read it.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((( EternallySilent )))))))))))))))))

Writing those letters, getting your thoughts out, really helps. I do this myself, it sometimes clears my thoughts and allows me to think more clearly on everyday things.

I do it constantly, and, it does work for me. Good luck hon.

Warmie