Seemingly Endless Journey***trigger***

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Seemingly Endless Journey***trigger***

Postby Crista5387 » Tue Sep 21, 2010 3:29 pm

I'm 22 years old right now, work full time, go to university full time, coach high level sports for kids and have a tight circle of friends.

This is all amazing to me, and I know that. I am grateful for all I have and lucky to have what I do. But I can not get rid of this feeling inside of me constantly making me sad.

I was sexually abused by my older brother for a few years and didn't speak of it until I was 16. When I told my family(because he was going to have a child) they called me a liar and disowned me for a couple years. I since then have been struggling with depression, having a few really bad years when I was 19 and 20. I have done counceling for years, and got to a point when I was 21 where I felt better, and happy. It was an amazing feeling and I am proud of myself for working so hard to get there.

Now I have had to start seeing a councilor again because my depression has returned and I don't know what to do. Is this going to be an endless struggle? Each time I think I'm healed will it only last a short time then revert back to how I was? My anxiety returned and I am having trouble sleeping at night again.

My main worry is that I will never get past this. I have no problem going to counceling and putting in the work to try adn improve myself, but is it a fruitless battle?

I'm young and scared and tired. Please just give me some hope :oops:

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Postby Obayan » Tue Sep 21, 2010 4:06 pm

Hi. I don't know if we ever "get over it" but we do learn how to live productive and satisfying lives despite of it. There are things that are "triggers" out there that we have to be aware of. It's something that happens or is said that will trigger the old feelings again. Keep fighting Crista. This is one battle worth winning.

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Postby Crista5387 » Tue Sep 21, 2010 4:24 pm

Thank you, I plan to keep fighting. Just hoping to see the light again soon

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Postby Obayan » Tue Sep 21, 2010 4:46 pm

Crista, it's like walking thru a tunnel. There is light at the end even if you can't see it yet. Know that you are not alone. We are all here with you and will walk that path with you.

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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:37 pm

(((((((((((((((((( Crista5387 ))))))))))))))))))

A warm heart felt hug for you. We are here for you.

“If we admit our depression openly and freely, those around us get from it an experience of freedom rather than the depression itself.”
--- Dr. Rollo May
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Postby crystalgaze » Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:46 am

Hey Crista. Welcome!

I'm not exactly digging myself out of the hole but creating a tunnel to get out another way. Throwing dirt from one end of the pit to the other isn't going to get me anywhere. Instead, I'll create my own path.

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Postby TackingIntoTheWind » Mon Sep 27, 2010 12:48 pm

Like (((( Obayan )))) said, I don't know that we ever " get over it ", once and for all. . However, while I have really " down " days, I'm getting better at identifying my " triggers ", and managing my depression better.
So, I know from my own experience that you'll get past this " down " time and find your way to better days. I'm conscious of having had good times over this past year that I wouldn't have had if I'd given up when I was at my very lowest, last year.
Perhaps depression is an enemy that can't be banished forever, but it is an enemy that CAN be withstood, however painfully. An enemy that we can learn to fight more and more efectively.
Please hang in there, it CAN and DOES get better! :)
Last edited by TackingIntoTheWind on Tue Sep 28, 2010 11:53 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Monty » Mon Sep 27, 2010 9:43 pm

I have been struggling from depression for many years.

Once I had a counsellor who told me that if she could wave a magic wand, and make the depression go away forever that she would but she couldn't.

For me I go along ok for a while, then it seems like I slide into such deep depressions that I think that I can't fight anymore.

Having to endure sexual abuse, and not have any family support you with that it tough.

You certainly are a fighter and it is certainly not a fruitless battle.

Take care

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hun there is hope

Postby tammy1979 » Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:20 am

I know it seems endless but over time you will notice that the stretches of "good times" are longer and bad times are shorter. While no 100% cure for depression yet there is help to get past the rough spots and you have the room which is a added bonus to aid in the healing process when times get bad know that you have a room full of people who care and support you no matter what.

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