Depression Understood Forums

I have been dating my current Girlfriend on and off for 3 to 4 years. I love her very dearly and when shes in a good mood she is the sweetest girl in the world. But when she gets down she says the most hateful things and it all becomes focused on me. She says i make her feel worse b/c i am athletic, make friends easily and have a lot of goals...etc .etc. The point is i love her dearly and i dont want to give up on her or the future we could have together. She just recently switched from Effexor to Welbutrin and when she started having adverse side effects she stopped taking her meds cold turkey and didn't contact her doctor. Since then she has been constantly flipping on me and trying to make me break up with her. She refuses to get help b/c she claims the meds wont help her. Im at my wits ends b/c i know she needs help especially before school starts back next week. I myself suffer from minor depression and i try to be strong for her but its wearing me down b/c she is just about the only person that understands me and i feel so alone without her. Even though she says some really evil things to me sometime she still has her moments where she will be the sweet girl i love and those moments give me some hope. Any suggestions, comments, or whatever on the situation would be helpful b/c i dont know what to do.

What she needs is a set of mood stabilizers like Lithium, if her current Doc will only prescribe anti-depressants there's no wonder that her mood goes up and down ... I'd have her switch doctor.

I'm Bipolar type 2, rapid-cycling and my life is nothing like that of your gf. Granted I'm on 5 different meds to regulate my moods. It doesn't work perfectly but it works 99% of the time. Maybe my example gives you some hope yet.

From the view of the girlfriend with the amazingly supportive boyfriend:


Being aware of her habits and tendencies is the most helpful thing possible for the relationship. If she can't see or identify them, then counselling and/or CBT as well as medication is probably a good idea. You're doing right by her and your relationship by getting help and advice! I remember getting upset when I read bfs uni marks to date and seeing one B+ and getting disgustingly upset and childish about it. I compared us and came up that he was the superior one because he had it together, and was pulling A averages when I knew I could do just as well. I knew I was being irrrational, and that made me more upset. He knew exactly what to say, and never caved - repeating himself like a stuck record until I finally heard properly.

From the view of the girlfriend with the amazingly uncompassionate boyfriend:

This was at a time when I was probably more in a state like your girlfriend. I didn't quite have myself figured out, and viewed myself as alone in a desolate and hostile world where my boyfriend was supposed to save me from and be my rock. So any minor infraction or mood swing meant a ruined date night. He still adored my personality - when I was good, I was life of the party, but he had no patience or time for the side of me that needed the most attention, and I believed this meant I was expendable.

Your girlfriend has the potential to understand and ride out these swings, but she needs some help in the right direction. I wish I could tell you definitively what to do, for me it was a few reclusive weeks with myself and photos of my friends and family. It's not healthy for her/anyone to have one person to trust and rely on - get friends and family in on the bandwagon of happiness

(Boyfriend 1 and I broke up, but after 3 months of no contact and move-on time, we are now fast friends and expect updates on each other every week)