Depression Understood Forums

Thank you Specter


hugs

You're most welcome. : )

*more hugs*

I live in a suburban area near Chicago and I hear wildlife all the time. Owls, birds, ground squirrels, and coyotes. In the summer time, near a pond that I dug out, i can hear frogs. These are comforting sounds that says you are not alone.

Pets are amazing persons. They helps so much for people who have mental and physical health problems. I have pets too. For one thing, pets are in a unique position where they really rely on YOU to be able to function enough to take care of them.

I think you make really great points about moving forward no matter what.

Well, tonight is my bad time-depressed and panicky, I feel like I am going to be abandoned before long and dreading it! Hope I am wrong . I had gotten some better but tonight is bad,when I get like this it makes me sick and I have been getting over a bad spell where I lost a lot of weight, I weigh abt 77 lbs now and cant afford to get sick again! I am 79 yrs old and not at all courageous like Star is! Wish I was and able to stand on my own two feet but am very dependent on someone who has always helped me and I am afraid of loosing!

Star you are a good example to look to for courage and hanging in there- thanks for that !

Thank you Charlene. It really means a lot to me that I help you feel a little better. I've always wanted and dreamed to be able to help more people.

No matter what the key to life and happiness is holding on. No matter how hard it is.

As I was sitting outside today I seen this huge flock of birds that looked like dozens of them all together flying as one. They soared off to the south and then they turned around and flew back towards the west , never once separating. It was so amazing and beautiful and that right there is just one more reason to keep going on day after day no matter how hard things are.

A couple of days ago as it was getting dark I was watching the sunset and the sky was all glowing bright pink and yellow gold off in the distance while the rest of the sky was growing dark and my mom made a comment that really touched me.

When I pointed out to her how pretty the sky looked she said , " That means the sun is shining somewhere."

And it made me think that is how people should look at life too. Even though things are growing so dark around you somewhere the sun is shining. And it will shine again for everyone .... if they keep holding on.


love and hugs always ,


Star

blessings to you, Star.

My dad is VERY hard of hearing. It makes it difficult for him to communicate ... his communication has become very one way, he reflects the fact that there are many things he can't understand by being very stubborn about things that he thinks are important.

I just spent some time with him to give my mother a break. She wanted him to go into respite care, but he refused because he wasn't sure she would take him back out. While I was visiting him my brother-in-law had some medical complications. He takes care of his mother who has severe alzheimers. Ideally both of them would have gone to a rehab center for him to recover. Instead he decided to go home. The family has gathered around them, but it is difficult, and is affecting my wife's health.

While I was staying with my dad he wondered why my in-laws didn't go to rehab. But, when I asked him why he didn't go to respite care for my mom he said he could manage just fine on his own. I told him that was the problem with independence. That the empathy we feel our caregivers feel for us interferes with our independence. That true empathy is to give up our independence a little to enhance the independence of the people we care for. He seemed to get that. We'll see the next time my mom needs a break ...

Does the possibility of in-home care exist for your father? That might be something he would be a little more comfortable with, in the event that it's mostly a matter of not wanting to leave his home. Insurance usually covers it, but I don't know if there are instances where it would have to be paid out-of-pocket or not. Hopefully he is eligible for some sort of service that would pay for him.

It's good to compromise for the sake of loved ones.

Sorry it's all so hard on your family right now. There should be some services out there that could help make it easier for your father without making him feel out-of-place.

Thank you Nenkohai2. Many blessings back to you always.

And to 100footpole my thoughts are with you and your father. Please know that. ( hugs )

You know, I think that a bit of heaven is with you. I think a bit of heaven is with all of us. I see it all the time too. Pink fluffy clouds in blue skies and soft white clouds in soft blue skies and glorious sunrises and even more spectacular sunsets.

I used to have fireflies, but they all went away. I miss them a lot. However, I do hear the owls and coyotes at night and never heard the owls before. Stars have always been a beautiful sight and I am glad you get to see so much of them.

As far as loneliness, have you thought maybe of doing a small pet rescue?
If you can, I want to show you something cool. Go to youtube and look up
"Man turns house into indoor cat playland"

It's awesome on so many levels, no pun intended but it's appropriate. He did the work himself. What's so amazing is the artfulness, the feeling of being in a botanical garden and just how beautiful it is. And the cats, the cats are sooo happy. Check it out. You don't have to do what he did, but maybe it will give you ideas for something you want to do.

Hey, so this kind of made me cry. I'm gonna have a surgery... cardiac catheterization was it? I can't believe I don't know. XD But, its pretty much a test to see if I have a problem with my heart. AND IM REALLY SCARED. really 5x scared. But I'm also scared of dying, so I hope I can be as strong as you are. And maybe we'll grow up and say: "That wasn't so bad after all!" when we think back to all these horrible memories.So I hope you could hold on and I'll also try to hold on. That's all!

Thank you CitM. I really love what you wrote about heaven. Thank you so much for that.


Hi there LonelyEvilChild. I will be thinking about you. Everything is going to be just fine with your surgery you'll see. You are in my thoughts and my heart I guarantee.

And I will keep holding on and I hope with all my heart that you promise me you will keep holding on too.

We will both make it. I know we will.

love and hugs always

Hey there BrooklynnThomas. It's nice to meet you. I know how hard it is when you feel like your all alone and nobody cares. It's horrible and it's unfair and no one should ever have to go through it.


But the thing is ... YOU have to care. YOU have to be the one that cares the most about yourself. You have to keep holding on and being as strong as you can be because I can promise you this with all my heart someone will care about you the way you deserve to be cared about.

When we are going through hell sometimes it's hard to see that we aren't alone. It's like the pain and the stress become a massive , tall wall right in front of your face and the pain and the stress and the hopelessness is the only things that you can see.

You can't see anything else ...... or any other way out or around that huge wall and that is so HARD to handle and deal with..

But no matter what you can't give up because once we give up then we truly have lost everything.

Hold on as hard as you can because we have no idea what kind of things tomorrow brings. Good things. Things we have been waiting our whole lives to find.

Please stay on and this site and keep coming back. I love this site. I can tell you right now the people here are wonderful and they DO care. So you aren't alone at all.

You may feel alone but you aren't alone.


love and hugs always

Star,

It is so hard to be strong for someone else, when you are trying to hold it together for yourself.

I felt defensive for you when BrooklynThomas posted his message. I can see why he put his "tag" on here, because the thought of putting that message on your own thread, and then not hearing a response is so frightening.

You are right that none of us on here is alone, but also that the relief this site can provide is small. I am not strong enough to offer more than "virtual ears", I can listen, I can share my thoughts. I am not a trained professional, I am not strong enough to get involved in other's problems.

One of the things I love from your posts is the love and care you give to your animals. Their needs are simple, love, food, shelter. The trust you built going under the house to give that stray food was an example of what I would love to do for everyone on here. But, our needs are complex. We are here as friends, not as providers. As friends we can listen, as friends we can encourage, but because we are here and we have poor self-esteem, there is a limit to the comfort and compassion we can give. That is an ugly opinion, but for me it is a fact.

Hugs, hoping you are doing well.