My Story

[Obayan]

I am so glad you found a doctor of her caliber who is so understanding and genuinly wants to help. There are some very good people out there.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((( keluca )))))))))))

Hon, you put a smile on my face. That was a big step for you and so thankful you found a doctor that cares and shows it.

You keep right on sharing with us and we will be here for you in any way we can.

Make it a great day, please.

Warmie

[keluca]

Aaarrrghhh.............. I just need to scream right now

[Obayan]

You go right on and scream all you want. Get it out. And when you are done, take a deep breath. You have such a warm heart. I'm sorry you are upset right now.

((( big hugs )))

[keluca]

Well yesterday was such a mixed bad, I was feeling quite pleased with myself as a shop had asked me if they could use me as their shop as a supplier for cards but the pleasure was short lived as when my children came home from school, my middle child (been on school trip and very late home as traffic was bad) had been really naughty on school trip. He has issues at school too and it is so draining me. I got really cross and shouted at him enough to make him cry, I felt so bad. I put him to bed and just went to my room and cried my eyes out. My hubby just ignore my tears.

Then .......
I had to rush my little one into the hospital last night (midnight) as he had had a fit and it was more prolonged than before. We got home about 4.30am and I had to be back up in time for my daughter at 6.45. I got my middle one to school after that for 9am and when I got back my little one was already awake.

I cannot take any more...sometimes I just want to walk away from it all but I know if I do then I will end up doing a lot more damage other than hurting myself.

Today, just before I set off to collect my middle child from school I got a call from my daughter to say she was being bullied at the bus stop (she was in tears) can we collect her.. so my hubby set off for her and I collected my middle one up only to find he had been naughty again at school.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((( keluca )))))))))))))))

Seems you have a full plate at the moment. So glad you can share here with us, and truly hoping just sharing it helps take the edge off of things for you.

Warmie

[Obayan]

sending a ((((( huge hug ))))) your way just for you hon.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((( keluca )))))))))))))))

How is today? Hoping it is better.

Warmie

[keluca]

Thank you Warmie and Obayan

Things are difficult, I think if it was under different times I may have been able to handle it but they weren't part of the reasons why I have depression so I think they have just added themselves to it.

My little one didn't have a fit last night but I was on edge most of the night, my daughter has decided she is ill tonight so we are going to have fun there and the other one was naughty again in school, so I have had to take a deep breath and ask to talk to someone, so tomorrow I have an appointment to talk to someone within the school (I am panicking at that thought as I have a fear of people)

I have managed to clean up today so I feel pleased there, I am hoping for a quiet night

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((( keluca ))))))))))))))

Hope all will go well and is going well for you. In my thoughts and prayers.

Warmie

[keluca]

This life is really too hard, I am finding every day so hard and the thoughts are so bad, I just want to give in to them

I am so tired too I really dont know how to do this.

I want to see my dr but I have got in the fear cycle where I get so bad that I dont trust her and I dont trust anyone, but when I feel a little better I feel she is someone that I have a slight trust in, but at the moment I fear her

I dont feel like my feet are on the ground at all and the school holidays are very quickly approaching and I also have a school appeal to try and cope with at the end of the month, but i tried this back in march and failed (I had a major panic attack and my daughter was given the school that wasnt right for her because I couldnt go through with it)

I hate all this

[Obayan]

Dont be afraid. That's the depression trying to keep you from getting help. Keep fighting hon.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((( keluca ))))))))))))))

Life can be hard, the fight is long and hard. Here for you, support in any way we can.

One step at a time, slowly!

Warmie