Oh matty.
You need to live for your kids.
I'm sorry your in this situation..
Look I want to help and all.. But..
I'm struggling myself, with suicidal thoughts. I want to escape hospital and die. So it's hard for me to give support.
(((Hugs)))
My Story - Warning Very Long (Triggering Material)
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
mattyj wrote:my kids are the only thing that means anything to me (and tara but thats no longer mutual apparently)
without them i really dont see the point of being here anymore
If you die, that's when you will truly lose them and never see them again. Don't let your emotions cloud your judgement, and stop yourself from doing anything silly.
Whether Tara chooses to stay with you or not, those are still your kids, nothing can change that. Do you want to be in their lives or not? Watch them grow up and be there to guide them when they need you. Or do you want to die and miss out on all of that? I hope you pull yourself together and think for your kids. How do you think they will think or feel about you knowing you gave up so easily? What kind of standard are you setting for them, what kind of impact will this have on them? Lots of questions you need to ask yourself.
The ball is not in your court regarding your relationship with Tara, you simply have to wait but you should always be prepared for the worse. Life is about choices, if one door closes another one will open, step back from time to time and look at the whole picture.
I hope you have a lovely time with your kids tomorrow, shower them with love. I know they love you and need you so be strong for them x
Ps. How old are your children?
Hello Mattyj,
I'm sorry if my spelling is off above.
To be honest with you, I'm a bit half asleep; Therefore, I find myself at a loss for words...
Advice given you, in posts above, such as attempting to concentrate on YOU right now, I believe is sound advice. I know that it's easier said than done, but in doing so, you will benefit your family as well.
Also, keep one thing in mind. The courts respect and look more highly upon those who are striving toward self-improvement. This is factual, and this should truly help your cause. Don't give up. Remember that any attempts at self-harm would only make you appear more unstable to be in the company of your children.
Although I realize that this is a sad and stressful time for you, regardless, I wish you a Merry Christmas. I also hope that you find yourself blessed and doing MUCH better in the new year to come. My prayers are with you.
4EverMe
I'm sorry if my spelling is off above.
To be honest with you, I'm a bit half asleep; Therefore, I find myself at a loss for words...
Advice given you, in posts above, such as attempting to concentrate on YOU right now, I believe is sound advice. I know that it's easier said than done, but in doing so, you will benefit your family as well.
Also, keep one thing in mind. The courts respect and look more highly upon those who are striving toward self-improvement. This is factual, and this should truly help your cause. Don't give up. Remember that any attempts at self-harm would only make you appear more unstable to be in the company of your children.
Although I realize that this is a sad and stressful time for you, regardless, I wish you a Merry Christmas. I also hope that you find yourself blessed and doing MUCH better in the new year to come. My prayers are with you.
4EverMe
Hello all
I haven't been on here for quite some time, but thought I would give you all an update on me.
A few days before the intervention order went to court I found some stuff on the computer that showed Tara had been cheating on me and almost instantly any feelings I had for her were gone...at the court my lawyer spoke to her and she agreed to a 6 month order with just her listed no kids and no admission of guilt from me
Since then I begun speaking to the girl I dated before Tara 12 years ago. We have rekindled things and have been together for a few weeks now. She has 2 kids one same age as one of my daughters and an 8 month old. Our kids have met and got along great
Have been to my psych once since she said I was a different person had never seen me happy
I haven't been on here for quite some time, but thought I would give you all an update on me.
A few days before the intervention order went to court I found some stuff on the computer that showed Tara had been cheating on me and almost instantly any feelings I had for her were gone...at the court my lawyer spoke to her and she agreed to a 6 month order with just her listed no kids and no admission of guilt from me
Since then I begun speaking to the girl I dated before Tara 12 years ago. We have rekindled things and have been together for a few weeks now. She has 2 kids one same age as one of my daughters and an 8 month old. Our kids have met and got along great
Have been to my psych once since she said I was a different person had never seen me happy
True Love
Hello Matty
I've read everything, including the replies everyone has given you. I found quite a bit of things missing that you need to know. It seems the thought of being alone depresses you, and your thoughts turn to suicide. You thought your life would be over if you lost that adulterer. You do not like being alone. But Love, you can not truly love someone when you don't love yourself. You are so quick to think the remedy was to throw your life away, when you are not looking forward, 1, 2, 5 years from now. You aren't looking forward to the day, YOU will have the annual Christmas lunch with your ADULT children, spouses and your grandchildren. That is unconditional love. Your life is NOT depended upon whether a woman stays or leaves. That is called co-dependency. You were not happy, and you blinded yourself to the obvious. Just reading your story, Tara was not good for you. But neither were you good for yourself or her. When you love someone, you don't call them horrible names. I would have left you the first time you called me an ugly name. You did to her, what other did to you when you were growing up. How did that make you feel? Then you also put your hands on her. There is no excuse for that. You could have been arrested. You presented a negative example of a man, husband and father for your son.
But all is not lost. You need therapy WITH medication, even when you think things are great because you have found a new love. If you don't, you will fall back on your same defense mechanisms. In a group setting, your knowledge could be a great help to others.
In a marriage, everything is shared. There is no such thing as her account only or his only. There should be complete transparency, and everything shared. That protects both parties, and that is how it should be. Both parents pay bills.
You need to love yourself more. Your weight is not excuse, because you sound charming. I know plenty of large sized men, why are sexy purely based on their confidence, and their assertiveness. You are letting your weight get in the way. But your weight is something you can control too. To have a long, and healthy life with your children, and their children some day, you should lose weight.
You sound like a wonderful person, and an awesome DAD. Someday, you will be the best Grandpa. You have to believe that. No more name calling, children don't forget things like that.. If you feel you're losing control, SMILE and LEAVE like nothing is wrong..walk around the corner, to a local coffee shop, go read a self-help book for a few hours. GO PRAY!! I have never called my husband anything but loving words. He has never called me heartbreaking names, they are like a knife in my heart. I grew up with that kind of ugliness.
With Tara, you were not that helpless, just purposefully blind. You knew deep inside she lied to you about many things. But, you knew to confront her about those things would mean you would have to take an action you didn't want. You knew about the money, you knew she was cheating, and why the parcel never arrived. You are an intelligent man. Don't let any woman treat you bad, because you will be teaching your son, this is normal; this is how women are supposed to treat you, and this is the type of wife you should marry someday.
When it comes to spending time with your children, weight loss can be crucial. Should your kids play sports, you could practice with them. When you walk the many miles at Disney World, you want to keep up with them and their friends. You want to be active with them, but remember, when it's your time to be with them: Spend Quality over Quantity. Its not about the amount of time you spend with them, its about the memorable times you all have. Make each time different, fun, and a surprise. Initially, spend the time with them without your new love. Make it about them and you, no one else. Get to know them. Its too soon to bring in another woman just yet. When they come to stay with you, unless you are married to your new love, she really should sleep there too. You want peace with the ex-wife. Many women, do not like other women around their children. When you spend time with your children, take them some place instead of staying at home. Make it a holiday every time they are with Dad.
You have a lot to look forward to. Children growing up without their father do no do well. What if their step-father is a complete creep. Your girls need their "Hero"....Dad. Show your girls, Dad will always be here for you. Don't discuss adult stuff with them. Don't ask about what Mom is doing and who she is seeing. They should never be placed in the middle.
My Dad is my Hero. My Mom was a nightmare. A daughter with a wonderful Dad, will marry a wonderful Man like Dad.
Don't under-estimate yourself Dear. You are the man, and they need you. Don''t ever take your life, because you will take their joy too.
I've read everything, including the replies everyone has given you. I found quite a bit of things missing that you need to know. It seems the thought of being alone depresses you, and your thoughts turn to suicide. You thought your life would be over if you lost that adulterer. You do not like being alone. But Love, you can not truly love someone when you don't love yourself. You are so quick to think the remedy was to throw your life away, when you are not looking forward, 1, 2, 5 years from now. You aren't looking forward to the day, YOU will have the annual Christmas lunch with your ADULT children, spouses and your grandchildren. That is unconditional love. Your life is NOT depended upon whether a woman stays or leaves. That is called co-dependency. You were not happy, and you blinded yourself to the obvious. Just reading your story, Tara was not good for you. But neither were you good for yourself or her. When you love someone, you don't call them horrible names. I would have left you the first time you called me an ugly name. You did to her, what other did to you when you were growing up. How did that make you feel? Then you also put your hands on her. There is no excuse for that. You could have been arrested. You presented a negative example of a man, husband and father for your son.
But all is not lost. You need therapy WITH medication, even when you think things are great because you have found a new love. If you don't, you will fall back on your same defense mechanisms. In a group setting, your knowledge could be a great help to others.
In a marriage, everything is shared. There is no such thing as her account only or his only. There should be complete transparency, and everything shared. That protects both parties, and that is how it should be. Both parents pay bills.
You need to love yourself more. Your weight is not excuse, because you sound charming. I know plenty of large sized men, why are sexy purely based on their confidence, and their assertiveness. You are letting your weight get in the way. But your weight is something you can control too. To have a long, and healthy life with your children, and their children some day, you should lose weight.
You sound like a wonderful person, and an awesome DAD. Someday, you will be the best Grandpa. You have to believe that. No more name calling, children don't forget things like that.. If you feel you're losing control, SMILE and LEAVE like nothing is wrong..walk around the corner, to a local coffee shop, go read a self-help book for a few hours. GO PRAY!! I have never called my husband anything but loving words. He has never called me heartbreaking names, they are like a knife in my heart. I grew up with that kind of ugliness.
With Tara, you were not that helpless, just purposefully blind. You knew deep inside she lied to you about many things. But, you knew to confront her about those things would mean you would have to take an action you didn't want. You knew about the money, you knew she was cheating, and why the parcel never arrived. You are an intelligent man. Don't let any woman treat you bad, because you will be teaching your son, this is normal; this is how women are supposed to treat you, and this is the type of wife you should marry someday.
When it comes to spending time with your children, weight loss can be crucial. Should your kids play sports, you could practice with them. When you walk the many miles at Disney World, you want to keep up with them and their friends. You want to be active with them, but remember, when it's your time to be with them: Spend Quality over Quantity. Its not about the amount of time you spend with them, its about the memorable times you all have. Make each time different, fun, and a surprise. Initially, spend the time with them without your new love. Make it about them and you, no one else. Get to know them. Its too soon to bring in another woman just yet. When they come to stay with you, unless you are married to your new love, she really should sleep there too. You want peace with the ex-wife. Many women, do not like other women around their children. When you spend time with your children, take them some place instead of staying at home. Make it a holiday every time they are with Dad.
You have a lot to look forward to. Children growing up without their father do no do well. What if their step-father is a complete creep. Your girls need their "Hero"....Dad. Show your girls, Dad will always be here for you. Don't discuss adult stuff with them. Don't ask about what Mom is doing and who she is seeing. They should never be placed in the middle.
My Dad is my Hero. My Mom was a nightmare. A daughter with a wonderful Dad, will marry a wonderful Man like Dad.
Don't under-estimate yourself Dear. You are the man, and they need you. Don''t ever take your life, because you will take their joy too.
Re: True Love
HI Karmel, thanks for the reply, i am going to respond paragraph by paragraph 
I completely agree that what i did was unacceptable, i never said it was, i never blamed the depression for what i did, those were my actions i choose to take, and i have to live with that. I breaks my heart looking back that my kids witnessed that, and it is for everyones benefit that it is over now and i can move forward and try to repair any damage done with my kids
I am still seeing my psychologist, alhough we have cut back to monthly visits instead of fortnightly. I am still on my anti depressants. I know i havent beaten the illness yet, just have it under control and i never want to feel the way i did again so will be do everything in my power to keep it the way it is
I agree 100%. I was stupid to allow it to go on as long as it did with the money, but my anxiety got so bad i couldnt force myself to even look at the internet banking. She could sense this and used it to her advantage. I believe she had this planned for quite some time (getting what she could into her name) and then leaving me when she felt the time was right
I am losing weight (and i would like to point out im overweight but not morbidly obese or anything). I have given up drinking soft drinks and am eating a lot healthier. Funny you call me charming, my new ladies mother called me the exact thing the other day LOL...She said she is glad i came back into her daughters life and that i was a real charmer..
I really dont think i am an awesome dad, an awesome dad wouldnt have done what i did (the name calling etc). But my kids still love me (thank god) and i can repair the damage i have done. They still want to come and see me now me and their mother are seperated which is great (although she is trying to make it difficult for me to see them) I am going through a mediation process to organise access agreements, and she has agreed to it so thats a positive at least
You know you are right. But it wasnt until i had hard evidence that showed she was cheating that i could really step back and look at the situation for what it really was. I loved her at the start, but our relationship has been heading downhill since she was pregnant with our 3rd baby (7 years ago). I think both of us (i know i was, i suspect she was too) were trying to keep it together for the kids. I want to be around my kids everyday and i knew if we seperated i wouldnt be able to do that. It was stupid of me coz i now realise that kids would rather see me happy (and tara) than for us to be together, and neither of us had been happy for some time
My psychologist thinks i had Tara on a pedastool, and needed to find what i found to be able to see her for what she really was, for what she was doing, she was taking away any control any sense of worth i had (money, isolating me from friends, and then convincing me to leave a job i loved) I am a better person now i am away from her. But you know what? I dont hate her for what she did, im not even angry at her. I never want to be with her again, but i dont wish her ill will, i hope she moves on and is happy
I do sports with my son, he plays football and cricket which i play with him whenever i can (i have bad knees and occaionally they will play up and i can barely walk) but whenever i can i play with him. The girls are not really into sports.
Quality over Quanity will be the key for me moving forward. They have met my new lady and her kids and got along great with them. We are trying to organise access with my kids for the same weekend she has hers (they go to their dads the other weekend) so we can do some fun group activities each time (Amusement Parks, Beach Trips, etc). Im hoping my ex wife will be ok with it all , she should have no issues with Kate (my new lady) being around the kids as she works in child care for a living (so has all her working with children checks and stuff). I think she is most annoyed as its the girl i was with before her, more than anything else
I know my son and my youngest daughter see me as a "hero" and i wouldnt be the least bit surprised if both of them came to live with me at some stage. They are smart enough to see their mother for what she is for what she did to me. The middle one, well, she is a real mummys girl and would never side with me over tara, but i think the other 2 may at some stage come to live with me
Now for another update on me...I have been living with my mother since all this went down. I was kicked out of the house that i worked my butt off to buy. I got a new job which was an hour and a half travel each way from mums (as was Kates house). When i started dating Kate again, i decided i would stay with my dad (who i have barely spoken to in the last 6 years) as he was closer to work (45 mins) and closer to Kate (about 30 mins). That lasted for about 2 weeks before Kate (who is living with her parents since she broke up with her ex) asked me to stay at her place (which is only 20 mins from work). Her mum and dad love me, and are happy we are back togehter and happy for me to stay there until kate and i get our own place in probably 2-3 months.
My mum is also happy and wanted Kate and I to work out years ago. I dont think my mum liked Tara very much, when i asked her the other day she said "I was always nice to her!" ... LOL so that reponse tells me she didnt like her just was nice to her because of me
Things are moving fast with Kate and I, but, we both know this is what we want.
Talking to my psychologist the other day about my history. I have never had many girlfriends but the ones ive had once we broke up, ive never tried to maintain contact at all....With Kate i never wanted to let go and her out of my life completely. Every so often i would add her to facebook just to chat...Tara hated this and would get angry at me for talking to her...Her ex would too...So it got to the point where if Tara went away to her mums or something, i would add kate for that weeekend, chat and catch up and delete again before Tara got home
My psych thinks subconsciously I couldnt let go, because I always wanted her back...And Tara probably picked up on that (and Kates ex too)...I didnt know it at the time, i told myself it was just an innocent chat but thinking back its probably what it was....So im glad things turned out like they did (even if it meant i was completely destroyed in the process) because now i have kate back
I am happy to start rebuilding from nothing (im assuming tara will get most of "our" money and furniture in the settlement) because i have a good education, i have a good job with the possibility of going much higher once i get my anxiety under control, i have a beautiful woman to do it with who also has a good job and is studying at the min to further herself...Tara had to resort to what amounted to stealing from me to further herself...
I am in a much better place emotionally and physically now then when all this happened, I have moved on, and i cant thank my mum, my sister, Kate and even my dad for the help they have given me to pull me up from the canvas, when Tara blindsided me and knocked me down
Karmel30 wrote:Hello Matty
I've read everything, including the replies everyone has given you. I found quite a bit of things missing that you need to know. It seems the thought of being alone depresses you, and your thoughts turn to suicide. You thought your life would be over if you lost that adulterer. You do not like being alone. But Love, you can not truly love someone when you don't love yourself. You are so quick to think the remedy was to throw your life away, when you are not looking forward, 1, 2, 5 years from now. You aren't looking forward to the day, YOU will have the annual Christmas lunch with your ADULT children, spouses and your grandchildren. That is unconditional love. Your life is NOT depended upon whether a woman stays or leaves. That is called co-dependency. You were not happy, and you blinded yourself to the obvious. Just reading your story, Tara was not good for you. But neither were you good for yourself or her. When you love someone, you don't call them horrible names. I would have left you the first time you called me an ugly name. You did to her, what other did to you when you were growing up. How did that make you feel? Then you also put your hands on her. There is no excuse for that. You could have been arrested. You presented a negative example of a man, husband and father for your son.
I completely agree that what i did was unacceptable, i never said it was, i never blamed the depression for what i did, those were my actions i choose to take, and i have to live with that. I breaks my heart looking back that my kids witnessed that, and it is for everyones benefit that it is over now and i can move forward and try to repair any damage done with my kids
But all is not lost. You need therapy WITH medication, even when you think things are great because you have found a new love. If you don't, you will fall back on your same defense mechanisms. In a group setting, your knowledge could be a great help to others.
I am still seeing my psychologist, alhough we have cut back to monthly visits instead of fortnightly. I am still on my anti depressants. I know i havent beaten the illness yet, just have it under control and i never want to feel the way i did again so will be do everything in my power to keep it the way it is
In a marriage, everything is shared. There is no such thing as her account only or his only. There should be complete transparency, and everything shared. That protects both parties, and that is how it should be. Both parents pay bills.
I agree 100%. I was stupid to allow it to go on as long as it did with the money, but my anxiety got so bad i couldnt force myself to even look at the internet banking. She could sense this and used it to her advantage. I believe she had this planned for quite some time (getting what she could into her name) and then leaving me when she felt the time was right
You need to love yourself more. Your weight is not excuse, because you sound charming. I know plenty of large sized men, why are sexy purely based on their confidence, and their assertiveness. You are letting your weight get in the way. But your weight is something you can control too. To have a long, and healthy life with your children, and their children some day, you should lose weight.
I am losing weight (and i would like to point out im overweight but not morbidly obese or anything). I have given up drinking soft drinks and am eating a lot healthier. Funny you call me charming, my new ladies mother called me the exact thing the other day LOL...She said she is glad i came back into her daughters life and that i was a real charmer..
You sound like a wonderful person, and an awesome DAD. Someday, you will be the best Grandpa. You have to believe that. No more name calling, children don't forget things like that.. If you feel you're losing control, SMILE and LEAVE like nothing is wrong..walk around the corner, to a local coffee shop, go read a self-help book for a few hours. GO PRAY!! I have never called my husband anything but loving words. He has never called me heartbreaking names, they are like a knife in my heart. I grew up with that kind of ugliness.
I really dont think i am an awesome dad, an awesome dad wouldnt have done what i did (the name calling etc). But my kids still love me (thank god) and i can repair the damage i have done. They still want to come and see me now me and their mother are seperated which is great (although she is trying to make it difficult for me to see them) I am going through a mediation process to organise access agreements, and she has agreed to it so thats a positive at least
With Tara, you were not that helpless, just purposefully blind. You knew deep inside she lied to you about many things. But, you knew to confront her about those things would mean you would have to take an action you didn't want. You knew about the money, you knew she was cheating, and why the parcel never arrived. You are an intelligent man. Don't let any woman treat you bad, because you will be teaching your son, this is normal; this is how women are supposed to treat you, and this is the type of wife you should marry someday.
You know you are right. But it wasnt until i had hard evidence that showed she was cheating that i could really step back and look at the situation for what it really was. I loved her at the start, but our relationship has been heading downhill since she was pregnant with our 3rd baby (7 years ago). I think both of us (i know i was, i suspect she was too) were trying to keep it together for the kids. I want to be around my kids everyday and i knew if we seperated i wouldnt be able to do that. It was stupid of me coz i now realise that kids would rather see me happy (and tara) than for us to be together, and neither of us had been happy for some time
My psychologist thinks i had Tara on a pedastool, and needed to find what i found to be able to see her for what she really was, for what she was doing, she was taking away any control any sense of worth i had (money, isolating me from friends, and then convincing me to leave a job i loved) I am a better person now i am away from her. But you know what? I dont hate her for what she did, im not even angry at her. I never want to be with her again, but i dont wish her ill will, i hope she moves on and is happy
When it comes to spending time with your children, weight loss can be crucial. Should your kids play sports, you could practice with them. When you walk the many miles at Disney World, you want to keep up with them and their friends. You want to be active with them, but remember, when it's your time to be with them: Spend Quality over Quantity. Its not about the amount of time you spend with them, its about the memorable times you all have. Make each time different, fun, and a surprise. Initially, spend the time with them without your new love. Make it about them and you, no one else. Get to know them. Its too soon to bring in another woman just yet. When they come to stay with you, unless you are married to your new love, she really should sleep there too. You want peace with the ex-wife. Many women, do not like other women around their children. When you spend time with your children, take them some place instead of staying at home. Make it a holiday every time they are with Dad.
I do sports with my son, he plays football and cricket which i play with him whenever i can (i have bad knees and occaionally they will play up and i can barely walk) but whenever i can i play with him. The girls are not really into sports.
Quality over Quanity will be the key for me moving forward. They have met my new lady and her kids and got along great with them. We are trying to organise access with my kids for the same weekend she has hers (they go to their dads the other weekend) so we can do some fun group activities each time (Amusement Parks, Beach Trips, etc). Im hoping my ex wife will be ok with it all , she should have no issues with Kate (my new lady) being around the kids as she works in child care for a living (so has all her working with children checks and stuff). I think she is most annoyed as its the girl i was with before her, more than anything else
You have a lot to look forward to. Children growing up without their father do no do well. What if their step-father is a complete creep. Your girls need their "Hero"....Dad. Show your girls, Dad will always be here for you. Don't discuss adult stuff with them. Don't ask about what Mom is doing and who she is seeing. They should never be placed in the middle.
My Dad is my Hero. My Mom was a nightmare. A daughter with a wonderful Dad, will marry a wonderful Man like Dad.
Don't under-estimate yourself Dear. You are the man, and they need you. Don''t ever take your life, because you will take their joy too.
I know my son and my youngest daughter see me as a "hero" and i wouldnt be the least bit surprised if both of them came to live with me at some stage. They are smart enough to see their mother for what she is for what she did to me. The middle one, well, she is a real mummys girl and would never side with me over tara, but i think the other 2 may at some stage come to live with me
Now for another update on me...I have been living with my mother since all this went down. I was kicked out of the house that i worked my butt off to buy. I got a new job which was an hour and a half travel each way from mums (as was Kates house). When i started dating Kate again, i decided i would stay with my dad (who i have barely spoken to in the last 6 years) as he was closer to work (45 mins) and closer to Kate (about 30 mins). That lasted for about 2 weeks before Kate (who is living with her parents since she broke up with her ex) asked me to stay at her place (which is only 20 mins from work). Her mum and dad love me, and are happy we are back togehter and happy for me to stay there until kate and i get our own place in probably 2-3 months.
My mum is also happy and wanted Kate and I to work out years ago. I dont think my mum liked Tara very much, when i asked her the other day she said "I was always nice to her!" ... LOL so that reponse tells me she didnt like her just was nice to her because of me
Things are moving fast with Kate and I, but, we both know this is what we want.
Talking to my psychologist the other day about my history. I have never had many girlfriends but the ones ive had once we broke up, ive never tried to maintain contact at all....With Kate i never wanted to let go and her out of my life completely. Every so often i would add her to facebook just to chat...Tara hated this and would get angry at me for talking to her...Her ex would too...So it got to the point where if Tara went away to her mums or something, i would add kate for that weeekend, chat and catch up and delete again before Tara got home
My psych thinks subconsciously I couldnt let go, because I always wanted her back...And Tara probably picked up on that (and Kates ex too)...I didnt know it at the time, i told myself it was just an innocent chat but thinking back its probably what it was....So im glad things turned out like they did (even if it meant i was completely destroyed in the process) because now i have kate back
I am happy to start rebuilding from nothing (im assuming tara will get most of "our" money and furniture in the settlement) because i have a good education, i have a good job with the possibility of going much higher once i get my anxiety under control, i have a beautiful woman to do it with who also has a good job and is studying at the min to further herself...Tara had to resort to what amounted to stealing from me to further herself...
I am in a much better place emotionally and physically now then when all this happened, I have moved on, and i cant thank my mum, my sister, Kate and even my dad for the help they have given me to pull me up from the canvas, when Tara blindsided me and knocked me down
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