Life

[SilentScream]

I am 21 years old and have been handed crap over and over and over again. I am the fourth child out of 7 and am the oldest daughter. My dad is in prison for sexually abusing me. My mother is emotionally fragile because of it. I am helping raise my two younger siblings that are still living at home. There is some more sexual abuse going on in my life. But I don't dare tell my mom because it would destroy her. It is coming from my oldest brother, her first and perfect son. Because of all the stress in my life, I am struggling with depression that is untreated. The stress is also affecting me physically. I cannot tell my mom that I am depressed because there are things that are better left unsaid. I am trying to keep it together but everyday, I am losing a little bit more of me. I do have grandparents that know of the predicament that I am in and are supportive of me. They don't judge me so please don't judge them. They are doing the best they can under the circumstances.

[missvelia]

...wow, I am sorry all this is going on. That is a lot to be dealing with on your own. You shouldn't have to deal with that also considering all the responsibility you have. Isn't there anyone you can tell about the abuse besides your mom? Because...really, if he is doing that, maybe he should have to take responsibility for it...
You seem like you are really resilient in spite of everything. Just remember, I guess, even if things continue to go wrong, because life can be that way sometimes, try to look forward to something better or imagine yourself somewhere in a better place. Hopefully, things will be better for your younger siblings as well. At any rate, my heart goes out to you.