Family Problems

[FighterWannabe]

My family fought a lot and never got along. Everyone thinks they are the only ones who are right. Hateful words were always exchanged. My parents were divorced. My mom made us fear her when we were kids and our culture values obedience. I think we want to be a loving family but we just don't know how.

Several years ago, I had enough so I ran away from home with my younger brother to preserve my sanity. I had a stable employment and I was financially responsible. "Running away from home" sounds silly, but it was the only way to escape my overbearing mother. My brother later got married and I financially supported my brother and his wife, to the point where I now feel financially drained.

I have always been there for my brother and his wife when they needed my help because that's what older sisters do. Daughters are also supposed to have dinner with their mothers. But based on my past with my mother, the thought of having dinners with her by myself gives me anxiety attacks.

My brother always has a way for winning arguments and I often feel that I am being taken for granted. I only ask for my brother's emotional support but he is now refusing to make time for dinner with me and my mom. He said he doesn't understand why I am so afraid of her. Because of her overbearing nature, I can't even call my mom back to tell her that I can't have dinner with her because my brother is busy.

I know that I am now an adult, I have my own home, and I can financially support myself, so I have no reason to be afraid of my mom, but I really don't know how to be an emotionally stronger person in every area of this family drama.