most everything I'm reading sounds like me
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most everything I'm reading sounds like me
I can't understand why I am going thru this depression. I moved back to my hometown to be with my family as I had been living in another state & was sooo alone. My family welcomed me back with much support but I still feel like life is so hopeless & fruitless. I don't want to do anything day or night & when I do have to participate in family or social functions, I have to force myself to participate because I know it's good for me. I have had 2 unsucessful suicide attempts in the past & never want to reach that point again. I turn to alcohol for the numbness it causes but when I wake up the next day, I have memory losses & find that I have fallen & hurt myself. I've had to hide bruises & cuts so no one will know. i just don't understand why I do this to myself.
abuela,
So sorry to hear of your struggles. I am glad to hear that you do have the support of your family. A strong support system to lean on is very important. Have you considered or tried any counseling for these feelings? The alcohol may indeed provide a numbness to the feeling, but as you have described it opens the door for many new problems as well. It is not treating the initial problem, just covering it up temporarily. Any idea(s) what has brought on the depression feelings? I look forward to hearing more from you! Take care!
So sorry to hear of your struggles. I am glad to hear that you do have the support of your family. A strong support system to lean on is very important. Have you considered or tried any counseling for these feelings? The alcohol may indeed provide a numbness to the feeling, but as you have described it opens the door for many new problems as well. It is not treating the initial problem, just covering it up temporarily. Any idea(s) what has brought on the depression feelings? I look forward to hearing more from you! Take care!
my struggles
thank you for your comments. Yes, I am currently seeking professional help, but so far not feeling that it is helping me very much. I know I have to give it time, but frustrated that it is taking so long. Yes, my family is very supportive, but since coming back to the family have been drawn into a lot of family drama that really gets me down. How can I help others when I am in so much need for help myself?
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St8arrow
Hello Abuela:
Your words: --- "I can't understand why I am going thru this depression."
What achievements are important to you besides overcoming your depression? These achievements and the level of success or failure that you are experiencing in those achievements will usually determine whether you are happy and cheerful or depressed and feeling hopeless.
Your words: --- "I can't understand why I am going thru this depression."
What achievements are important to you besides overcoming your depression? These achievements and the level of success or failure that you are experiencing in those achievements will usually determine whether you are happy and cheerful or depressed and feeling hopeless.
Hi abuela,
I think the only way to dig yourself out of this depression is to first understand why you feel so alone and in pain. The easy thing to do, (and I'm guilty of doing this myself), is to try to distract yourself from the pain by drinking, it's understandable, but totally ineffective as the hangover makes everything seem even worse.
I'm glad you are getting counselling because hopefully you'll be able to talk through how you feel and come to an understanding of why you are feeling this way. It does take time. I found counselling to be very helpful in the past so stick with it.
Have you told your family or friends how bad you're feeling? Talking about it will help a little, maybe a lot. We're always here any time to listen when you need to vent. I have found people here to be very supportive and understanding. We're all in the same boat so to speak, so we can empathize.
Take one day at a time and remember that there's always a new chapter and life never ceases to surprise. Keep hope in your heart, especially on really bad days, and tell yourself it will get better, because it's the truth. Be well and take care of yourself.
Amanda
I think the only way to dig yourself out of this depression is to first understand why you feel so alone and in pain. The easy thing to do, (and I'm guilty of doing this myself), is to try to distract yourself from the pain by drinking, it's understandable, but totally ineffective as the hangover makes everything seem even worse.
I'm glad you are getting counselling because hopefully you'll be able to talk through how you feel and come to an understanding of why you are feeling this way. It does take time. I found counselling to be very helpful in the past so stick with it.
Have you told your family or friends how bad you're feeling? Talking about it will help a little, maybe a lot. We're always here any time to listen when you need to vent. I have found people here to be very supportive and understanding. We're all in the same boat so to speak, so we can empathize.
Take one day at a time and remember that there's always a new chapter and life never ceases to surprise. Keep hope in your heart, especially on really bad days, and tell yourself it will get better, because it's the truth. Be well and take care of yourself.
Amanda
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St8arrow
abuela wrote:you ask what achievements am I looking for. I want to stop hurting & I want to stop feeling so empty and alone. I can't understand why I feel like I do. I hate this feeling, I want it to stop
Obviously I was too vague with my original post. Please allow me to apologize. In reference to your being alone, tell us about a situation that has resulted in you being left alone and maybe we can get started there.
I am caregiver to my adult son who is schyzophrenic. I have his welfare to watch out for. I worry about what will happen to him when I die. What makes me alone is that I do not have the incentive to go out to find things that I can get involved in. another thing that causes me concern is my financial situation. My car keeps breaking down, I can't afford to get another one. Wow, when reading this, I sound like such a whiner.
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St8arrow
[quote="abuela"
I am caregiver to my adult son who is schizophrenic. I have his welfare to watch out for. I worry about what will happen to him when I die.
From Str8arrow:
God bless you for showing such empathy for your son. But without trying to be too critical here, you have to back up those words with action. Stop drinking which is obviously bad for your health. It is also expensive and that money can be used to make you more successful in other areas and in the process these new habits will reduce your economic stress.
Of course the main thing is to help you reduce your stress so that you don't feel the need to anesthetize yourself with alcohol. A small part of that help is contained in the above advice that I have offered you. It would be wrong to put too much on your plate at once.
Try your best to succeed at the changes that I have suggested above and if you can do that, the increased confidence that you gain from that success will give you more confidence to tackle other areas that you need help in also.
Thanks for having the courage to come into this site and be so open about your problems. Of course the anonymous nature of this internet site helps people be more honest than they otherwise might be. This is entirely understandable because unfortunately there are some people who seize upon someone else's weakness and exploit it while outwardly appearing to be trying to help the afflicted person.
But enough of this negativity on my part. You won't find those kind of manipulative people on this site. The anonymous nature of the site makes it not worth their time. Cheers to you and, by all means, let us hear from you soon.
I am caregiver to my adult son who is schizophrenic. I have his welfare to watch out for. I worry about what will happen to him when I die.
From Str8arrow:
God bless you for showing such empathy for your son. But without trying to be too critical here, you have to back up those words with action. Stop drinking which is obviously bad for your health. It is also expensive and that money can be used to make you more successful in other areas and in the process these new habits will reduce your economic stress.
Of course the main thing is to help you reduce your stress so that you don't feel the need to anesthetize yourself with alcohol. A small part of that help is contained in the above advice that I have offered you. It would be wrong to put too much on your plate at once.
Try your best to succeed at the changes that I have suggested above and if you can do that, the increased confidence that you gain from that success will give you more confidence to tackle other areas that you need help in also.
Thanks for having the courage to come into this site and be so open about your problems. Of course the anonymous nature of this internet site helps people be more honest than they otherwise might be. This is entirely understandable because unfortunately there are some people who seize upon someone else's weakness and exploit it while outwardly appearing to be trying to help the afflicted person.
But enough of this negativity on my part. You won't find those kind of manipulative people on this site. The anonymous nature of the site makes it not worth their time. Cheers to you and, by all means, let us hear from you soon.
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