Sending messages in to space...SOS...somebody respond

[Hopless]

I am 28 year old. Someone I loved did not reciprocate my feelings and got married 8 years ago. I could not get over it till I met another guy online 2 years back. We became good friends but he wanted to remain friends only when I confessed my love for him. We don't talk much now but I can't bear the thought of not having him in my life. This has changed me completely. I have become liar, jealous, hypocrite, conspirator, drama queen, stalker as I have tried every mean to earn his affection. I got a complete make over to attract him too but nothing worked. Naturally, he avoids me now. This has raised my self esteem to ground. I feel guilt and shame over the kind of person I have become. I am depressed and on verge of tears whole day. I have lost 5 lbs only in 3 days becasue he is not replying to my texts. I had suicidal thoughts. I have tried to get my self back several times. I keep myself busy. I work. I study. I have tried seeing other guys. I have tried to block him on phone and online.I workout too but nothing works for more than 10 days. I can't help contacting him again. And even when I break off conatct with him, my mind wanders to him no matter how busy I am. This depresses me. I used to be a very strong, ambitious and gutsy woman. I was a femenist too and I had a dislike for the type of guys he is. We have huge personality differences. But I can't get out of this (obsessive) love. I need help. I need someone to tell me how to stop destroying my life and self respect. I feel possessed and helpless. Can anyone help? Please?

[dd-va]

Hopeless *hugs* to you! You have to dig down deep inside yourself and do things not for him, but for YOU. You are worth it and deserve it. It s time for you to move on, find better things for yourself. I know that is not what you want to hear right now, but that is what you need to do. I hope to continue seeing you post here, interested in hearing how you are doing! Take Care!

[Hopless]

I don't know how to move on.... I seriously don't

[bratwuerst]

Unrequited love is a sticky problem.

Here are the questions: What is your gender? Is he married or in a relationship? Why are you not finding new romantic relationships?

[Hopless]

Female. He is in a relationship. Because, I fail to connect with other guys. Every time I am with a guy, I can't stop thinking about him or making contact with him. bratwuerst, the problem is that I have serious will power issues atm. I am trying to get over him since a year now but I fail terribly. I have tried breaking off contact with him several times and it has killed me every time. The emotional trauma is too much to handle. After shedding tears for several hours, I always end up being with him again....

[bratwuerst]

He is comfortable in HIS relationship. By comfortable, I mean it is easier to stay than to leave.

I am assuming from the context he is basically having an affair with you and keeping his primary relationship.

[Hopless]

No. He is not having an affair with me. He has clearly told me he is not in to me. It's me who is chasing him.

[Hopless]

I feel very lonely atm. I haven't made any contact with him since two days. I kept myself busy in work, friends family and other chores all day long. Yet, there was not a moment when I didn't think about him. That was involuntary. I feel empty now. dd-va you had asked me to do things for myself. I tried whole day. I am trying now too. But it looks meaningless. Life is shallow at this very moment.

[MrWonderful]

Having gone through this myself, I sympathize with how you are feeling =(. I found my way...and so will you. The one thing that helped me the most was realizing that putting SO MUcH time energy and thought into someone who obviously didnt feel the same way, was really a waste of my life. And i knew i didnt want to wake up one day and be 45 years old and still wasting my precious life and time on people who dont even come close to deserving it. You deserve MUCH better...the sooner you realize that...the sooner your smile will come back...take care...hugs...

[Hopless]

Thank you Mr. Wonderful. I fell much better now