I believe it was either August or September that I found this site’s chat room. I was feeling down about the situation I was facing, loneliness and I wanted support. I was introduced to some of the best and loving friendships I have ever had. And then it dawned on me, how could I hate people who are or went through things I had to go through and worse. Who have suffered the same abuse, who have emotions, the same emotions I was so proud I didn’t have but now do. It showed me that there are people out there that are friendly and who are a contradiction to my past, of all the horrific people I was exposed to. I learned instead of taking it out on other people, instead of becoming a ticking time bomb waiting for the last straw to break my back. I changed. I changed and dealt with my emotions, I now see my self as the problem. If a person calls me a few chosen names I take it to heart now, instead of having a homicidal day dream about them. It may seem bad this new course of action, having myself to self destruct over others but I see it as progress, instead of taking it out on others I decide to destroy myself then hurt people around me.
I want to give everything I can to these people I have become friends with I am so concerned about all of the people in the chat room and I wish I could help them all. I also see if I help as many people I can it will be my redemption for the ways I have acted ealier in my life. But progress has been slow. Thank you for reading this have a wonderful day
(((((ryan))))))
