Where do I go from here?

[Forest_pan]

I am terrified. I feel like I am going down in to a negative spiral where I am lost, broken and empty. Christmas is coming and though is only a hallmark holiday, it means a lot to me. Especially because it meant being with my family which I don't have. I am 33 years old and all my life dreams have been crushed to the point that I say: OK. i'll give up. Perhaps its my perception of life but I feel so lonely, poor and hopeless. Even worst than that, my soul is broke .I feel like I don't have a reason for to live. I haven't showered in days, not because I am dirty. I just simply have no desire there is no point. My house is dirty and I haven't got the slightest inclination to clean it. Why? Whats the point? I feel invisible to others and no matter how much I make noise, I am simply not acknowledged, loved or accepted. What's the point of life? Where do I go from here? Has anybody ever felt this way? I feel like a lost being, and even though the idea of hurting myself is not appealing, I still wonder why am I here? What's the point? Nobody cares if cease or desist. I have always believed that there was a god or something taking care of us. I don't see that anymore. I just can't understand that even though this Universe so vast, so big, I am still alone.

PEACE

[Obayan]

Hi. Yeah, i feel like that quite often at times. But that's not reality. That's the depression wrapping around you and letting in onlly what it needs to keep existing and growing. Please talk to a counselor. It can help a lot to control those feelings. We also have a chat room here if you would like to try it out.

[loneflower]

Forest_pan.
I can relate to a little bit of how you feel. - the part about what's the point of life?
I have lost interest in everything. I have zero motivation to go anywhere or do anything during the days.
I started seeing a counselor in the hopes of getting some help in figuring out why I feel this way.
I have been on a med. for years but can't tolerate a high enough dose to make much difference.
I wish I could help you and I am very sorry.
Like Obayan said, I too, think counseling is very very important to help with these feelings.
Do you have a friend that you can tell how you feel?
Wish I could help you more. Peace to you.

[Obayan]

Our Depression chat room here can help a lot also. In combination with therapy. And the forums here has a wealth of information. My fave sections here are "grok talk" and "warmsoul's corner". Very inspirational and uplifting.