Hurtful Marriage.

[g6983emini]

How do I begin? Well lets get to the point, I been married to for 12 years to the man I love dearly and have three beautiful baby boys. Everything fell apart when I have Birth to twins boys this pass September. I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with another woman for three years. During these past months, has been the worst of my life. I completely lost myself, I dont know who I am anymore and lost my identity. All I ever ask my husband is to be honest, truthful and to love me. All I ever wanted is to be loved by him, and I wasnt asking for much.I have no one to talk too because I really dont know anybody whom went through theses situation. I am at a all time low in my life, I cant eat, sleep or even do everyday functions. All I do is think about my husband and the other woman, it turn into an obession. Their times that I cant even sleep because when I close my eyes I see images of them together and I when do close my eyes out of exhaustion. When I finally sleep, I dont want to ever wake up but the only thing that keeps me up and going are the cries of my new born babwy twins. Everday is a stuggle, and I feel like I am losing the battle as time goes by.

[Obayan]

Hi. Are you still with your husband now? Have you spoken to a counselor? I know it feels like the whole world is spinning out of control right now, but there is help out there. I think talking to a counselor will help a lot and you will find out what options are there for you.

[crystalgaze]

You still have yourself & that is surely worth something.

You also still have your children & they are always going to be yours. That is worth something as well.

Now that you know he is cheating on you, don't have anymore kids for him period.

Finally no other human, save your children, is more important than you are. You still can't put your children above yourself because if you do that & neglect yourself, you may not be able to be there for them in the end.

You are important. Later for his butt. You don't have to divorce him, if you don't want to, but your attitude toward him should be: Later for his butt. Furthermore, make sure you take care of yourself because he isn't going to do it for you. It doesn't mean that you have to be evil to him but you will certainly not be bothered with what he is doing.

Now is your time to stand up & make sure you give yourself the utmost care.

It's painful I'm sure, but you and your children are far more important.

I know a lady who this happened to & how she dealt with it was a "later for his butt" kind of attitude. Additionally, she put him "on dry dock" for it, too, so he continues to have affairs now, even to this day, because she has said to herself that she will not sleep with him anymore & that he will NOT push her out, as much as he tries to everyday.

He had children from a previous situation. He needed someone to take care of them and bring them up well. She did that & then he cheated on her because she had fulfilled her purpose. She was going to leave him after it happened, but a good friend of hers convinced to stay fight & get all that she deserves--house, money, property, etc.

She was convinced to make sure she has as many things in her name as much as is possible.

You are his wife. From the sound of things, you didn't do anything SO wrong, so you are entitled to as much as you can get out of him for yourself & your children.

Don't let this destroy you like that. It must hurt, but you are going to heal up & turn the tides.