I just can't take it anymore

[treshun95]

Mom is arguing with step dad all the time my little brother is out of control im failing in school nobody respects or talks to me unless they get what they want. I haven't been suicidal for two years but it's hard for me now to not look at that as a option with all this pain

[45&counting]

Hi. I'm sorry to hear how much pain you're in.

I tried to commit suicide my junior year of high school, and you sound a lot like I was. My family was effed up, I was getting the brunt of it, I didn't know what was wrong with me because everyone was acting like that was all normal. When I looked ahead my life just looked like this pain was never going to end, and I couldn't endure another 60 or 70 years of it.

Now I'm 45. Thank goodness I knew nothing about drugs so the pills I took were ineffective.

Once I became an adult and got out of my parents' house, I got some good therapy (free from the college I went to). I made my own new relationships with new people who weren't crazy, I learned new ways of relating to the world and myself that weren't crazy like my parents' ways, and life became waaaaaay better.

Okay, so tonight I wandered onto this website because it's 3am and I'm staring at the wall with my mind churning over my life's worries at this moment, and I'm looking for a place to feel heard about them. They're pretty bad, but I'm still not suicidal -- I'll never go there again. I don't really even think I'm depressed; I'm still fighting the good fight, and trying to slog my way through this mess to get to the other side.

That's what I learned as a young adult -- there's ALWAYS the other side of the current mess I'm in, and if I can just keep moving forward, I'll be really grateful that I did.

I urge you to hang in there, let time pass until you get older and get out on your own, and then get some therapy to reassess the bullsh*t belief system of how to handle life that your parents have given you. Find out that there are people who can know you and love you, and that you can make what you want with your life. And that it won't hurt like it does now, forever.

Best to you,

Kory

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

treshun95,

Is there someone you can go to, another family member, a minister? Get the support if you can. Know you can always share with us for we do care.

Warmsoul

[treshun95]

Thank you and im going to my therapist in a week or so

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((((( treshun95 ))))))))))))))))))

Good for you, keep us posted.

Warmie