My life, my problems.

[Danico579]

First I start introducing myself. I'm 16 years old, I'm colombian, so my english won't be perfect, and I'm gay

I'm a very insecure person, any little detail or offense lasts to make me feel bad all week. Since a young age, some people who I studied with verbally attacked me, making me feel horribly about myself. Two years ago a guy at school, constantly made fun of me, from that point My self esteem hit the floor. Now almost nobody messes with me, and sometimes people make fun of me, but not in a mean way, it's more like in a friendly way, but I still feel bad about myself, 'cause I think they make that because the pitty me or because they don't take me seriously.
Also, I'm my worst critic. I focus on the bad things about myself and the bad things I do, and forget about the good ones. Even when I take account of the good things about myself, I still feel like I suck.
Another problem is taht I constantly think I'm not good enough for other people, I think that my qualities don't match up what people really deserve of someone.

I'm a lonely person too. I don't have a lot of social life, I only go to a few parties and that's all. I had never been in a relationship, I can't seem to find a guy that I like who likes me back. I'm a closeted gay, so it's really hard.

I get good grades at school, in fact, I'm one of the best of the class, I'm even recommended to get a scholarship. That's the only subject I'm really arrogant about, but in the other subjects I usually feel really insecure and sad.

Altough a lot of girls and people tell me that I'm handsome, I constantly feel ugly. However taht doesn't stop my need of approval. I want all the girls to fall in love with me, just to make me feel good, 'cause I don't have a real interest in girls. I have even flirted with some girls just to make me feel better

So summarising, I'm insecure, sad, lonely, with no romantic relationship and searching one. I need some advices. And please don't just tell me ''get professional help''

[MilkDud]

Im not sure what i can say for advice, but I feel almost exactly like you do..