This is the way people enjoy treating ME.

[Wuff]

Firstly, I would like to explain why im so lonely, depressed with no friends and living a double life.

My mother has severe bi-polar depression, so I was raised by my dad. A couple of years ago my mother decides to go off the rails, divorce my dad and spend her days at the local grubby pub, sleeping with all the alcoholics she could.

This caused me to have a nervous breakdown. My friends were fantastic but soon after i started back to school i noticed they were starting to make comments, ' Those shoes are disgusting' it started off with, and in the end it was comments like' No wonder your mothers a w**** with a daughter like you' yeah you guessed it, they had turned on me like dogs and they know Everything that went on.

I began to fall deeper and deeper into depression and i planned out my suicide and stuck to it. It didnt work though obviously.

I began emergency counselling and as hard as i can imagine this would be to believe, the counsellor decided he wanted to make me draw things like a child to show 'whats happened' despite knowing that i was a Gcse psychology student and that i had already told him why i tried to kill myself, he also told me his problems and i was leaving there worse than i came out, i didnt go to one appointment because i forgot , and i got kicked out of counselling. failed by my mother, my friends and people in proffesional areas who knew what i had been through already.

I still dont trust anyone, i dont love anyone or anything.

But i realise that this isnt normal, its not what happens to most, but i dont understand why this had to be me.

I started college in september and i thought 'this is it' and i decided to be myself and just stop being quiet, it worked , and i do have quite a few friends, but the thing is, they like to make a fol of me at times, and they seem to all be close but not as close to me, this is how it started with my 'friends', when they walk, i have to sometimes walk behind because they wont make room and walk with me but then at times they are all like my best friends and nice to me, invite me to parties and stuff , and ive only known them since september.

Im not really sure how to act around people so i suppose i act a bti ditsy and silly, and thats maybe why people sometimes take advantage of me.

I even made sure that i went to college in a different town incase people know who i am and it starts all over again, but i was obviously wrong. i have little friends on social networking sites too because i dont want abuse and as i was quiet before i didnt get out much to make friends, and people are beginning to catch on that i have hardly any friends, and by this i mean i have 1 outside college.

Im just so fed up of life being unfair and i dont know what to do apart from getting a counsellor/therapist and hoping for the best.

I dont know how to meet more people, maybe it would be easier if i was able to go to clubs and the like but i cant because im 16 :/

Please help me.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((( Wuff ))))))))))))))

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and story with us. I hope you continue to do so for it does help to be able to get it all out.

There are no professionals here. All we can offer is peer support. We don't have the answers for this thing called depression and we don't have the do's and don't to hand out. We listen, we reply, we do our best to understand for we live the same as you with this disease.

I do hope you find this site helpful and will continue posting.

Warmsoul

[be11a]

Hi Wuff -

Welcome to Depression-Understood. You might make some friends or get ideas about things that worked for others with depression in the chatroom. I know after becoming a regular there I was able to make some nice friends. You sound like a nice person, so I think you might make friends too!

Its too bad life deals some of us such a difficult hand... I hope things turn out ok at your new school.

Bella

[crystalgaze]

Hhmm.... Life may be unfair, but sometimes it may not be as bad, depending on how you cope/are able to cope with it.

If people don't treat you well, please get them out of your space. You don't have to do it all at once, but start edging away from them.

Continue to be yourself. Personally, I find it freeing. I believe that you will find persons/people who will love being around you for who you are.

Don't give up on life or yourself. I don't believe you have seen all that you need to see yet.

You can do it!

What do you like to do? I found I was able to at least meet people by going to different clubs on campus. (e.g. anime club, music club, language clubs, etc.)

Take care!