When you have fallen to the bottom of the pit...

[Xenophilius]

When you have fallen to the bottom of the pit, it looks like you will never get out and be free again. You are trapped and doomed and destined to feel the way you do forever, and nothing will change that.

but wait, however you feel, a ladder can be thrown down. With a bit of help, some unique, tailored help that will suit you, a ladder can be thrown down. At this moment, don't worry about how hard it will be to climb out, just acknowledge that it will be hard, but also acknowledge that you only have to take it step by step, lets just leave it at that for now.

Depression is a many-headed monster, it has enough heads to take you on any day of the week, each head presenting tailor-made horrors for you to suffer with.

With this knowledge, what we need to do first of all is identify these horrors. Look very closely at your situation, and very deeply inside yourself. I must stress that you look closely and deeply. What are your problems? What is it that is bothering you? If you can answer these questions and elaborate on your conclusions, then congratulations. Recognise the fact that if you have identified why you really feel the way you do, and have scrutinised each reason until they have been broken down into little chunks, you can now start to think about how you are going to battle these enemies.

Unfortunately, this is where it can get tricky, nobody knows you better than you know yourself. Therefore, the chances are that nobody will really understand how you feel with all the problems you've identified, and finding solutions to these problems can be a challenge in itself. Let's look at a few very obtuse examples;
Treated badly by work colleagues - resign!
Loss of something important to you - replace it!
Conflict between people you love - ditch them!
As I said above, these are obtuse (and ridiculous) examples, but they do demonstrate a fundamental principle in the recovery process. Find what it is that will completely counteract each of the problems facing you. Please don't give up at this stage, however hopeless you feel, please understand that there is a way. A solution does exist, I promise you that. But in some situations, only you can know the answer. If you don't know now, you will do. Just take some time to educate yourself, the answer is out there!

My point, in a nutshell, is that depression is really about self-discovery, and bravely going to war on a battlefield - one side is where you stand, a lone soldier, the other, an army of five thousand.

Sure, other people can help, whether it be that close friend who is willing to provide a shoulder to cry on, or the highly-intelligent therapist prepared to guide you over the rocky path before you. But these people can only throw down the ladder, it is you that must climb it.

And that is my story...I'm finally getting my first taste of freedom. Its been a long time...

[xken728]

Welcome to the ladder ,many are ahead of you on there journeys as you
say we only know our own pain ,but we do understand the pain others carry also .I can tell you one thing you are no longer alone now your here
if that ladder should seem steep and you feel you may falter ,call out and im sure someone will talk gently and help to calm you so you may continue on your way ,Welcome home , best wishes , xn728

[Lala_Blue]

I have gone through this before, and I did quit my job, ditched my friends, or done whatever I needed to do to heal myself temporarily from depression and it worked. I say temporarily however because now I feel I have hit the big league of depression where there is very little external changes I can do. I am so depressed that even running regularly does not help, it is supposedly a mood elevator. I exercise and run 6 days a week and yet I am still chronically depressed.

I have had many people in my life, so many friends but I have discarded most of those relationships, mainly due to my inability to manage them and I cut people out. I became so disappointed in people and these disappointments have left me very depressed and untrusting of others. I am realizing that I am always lonely and I am scared I will always be this way. I get suffocated by people, I am unable to be with people for too long and I spend most of my time alone.
How did you manage to stand up to your depression and loneliness to be more content? In the past I could just move on to a new place, new friends, new job, I am always starting over. This time however I feel that I am chronically depressed and I don't see how to deal with it.
My first step is joining this forum.

[Obayan]

Welcome to the forums. And yes, this is a great place to start at. Lots of really good people here. I look forward to getting to know you.

[Lala_Blue]

Thank you. I am glad I decided to join, oddly enough simply by finally sharing it somehow I feel a bit better.