I just don't know, or understand.

[Smith/Please]

Apologies for these statements from the outset. Its all selfish moanings.

I remember being so happy as a child, great childhood, and my parents have given me all they could. Top education, and currently getting a great decent at a top university.

They gave me everything that isn't recognised or rated in society. Character and intelect. I am not a sporty person. I am musically inept. My social skills are hopeless. I don't understand people in any respect. I can't relate to any of them, just feel sour towards those better than myself.

I am a decent looking guy. But that doesn't matter now. I cannot talk coherently, or sincerely to anyone. Iv lost the character my parents gave me through worry, and insecurity. The only time people have time for me is when I act as someone else. Im quite the comedian. I get alot of laughs and alot of smiles raised. But theres nothing else deeper than that. I am a cheap punch line.

I can't feel towards anyone, and have become cold. Iv driven all my girlfriends away, through distrust. Iv become distant from friends, through reticence. I cant even remember what I was sad about, but nothing changes.

Things are getting worse. Panicking and becoming angry. But I keep quiet.

I only drink to somehow feel alive. Crack jokes to appear human.

I resent my parents for making me like this. I hate myself for not changing this situation. I am contemptous to those around me who dont see or care.

I just don't know, or understand anymore.

[Emotional_77]

hey im sorry you are feeling this way, if you ever need someone to talk to, check out the chat rooms or you can always PM me.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((( Smith/Please ))))))))))))))))

We don't 'moan' here, we share and that is what you have done. Thank you for that, not always an easy thing to do. Putting thoughts into actual type. Thank you for finding the courage to do just that.

Warmie