my life and i need help (triggering)

[NKO]

Hello everyone i am new here and want to tell you all a bit about my life when i was born my mum didnt want me she got depressed i have two older brothers and two older sisters my brother got married and my sister in law took care of us my mum and dad would just keep hitting us and fighting with each other when i was 10 years old my sister in laws brother raped me and still to this day i havent told my family because they dont care plus i was 10 who would believe me as time went on my mum and dad would keep hitting us that my two older sisters ran away from home i was 16 and met a friend called chris hawkins and he made me see a counseler because i told him i didnt want to lie and hated everyone and have tried to kill myself i got better talking to the counseler until my dad stop me and i couldnt see chris hawkins or his mates they locked me in the house for 11 years i was not allowed to go out then i had to get married to my sister in laws nephew i didnt want because i was in love with chris hawkins well thats my story in short i wake up in the moring and dont know why i am waking up for? I get dressed and dont know why i am getting dressed? I eat but dont feel like eating i always end up saying to myself come on NKO lets get through the damn day any help guys

[Obayan]

I'm really sorry that there is so much pain in your life. I do agree about breaking the silence and the lies. You need counseling. Please talk to a counselor.