my story

[molly6]

hi
i am a 38 married with 2 boys 9 and 3.Ever since becoming pregnant with my youngest i have suffered with depression first it was postnatal now it is physcotic depression.the point is i carnt seem to get well i keep having my medication changed and have been into hospital 3 times the last time was in November.I want to get well this year i have 2 young children to look after and i am not being fair on them.I have a very supportive husband and my mother helps with the children.I have never suffered from depression or anything else before in my life so why now?and why wont it go?I have a lot of sucidal thoughts and i just dont seem to be able to pull myself out of the dark deep hole i am in.Does anybody know anything that can help me.I have had 3 ects which do help but it does not last and i dont like having it done.I dont want to have to keep having it done to keep me well.I see a nurse at least once a week to talk about how i am but does that help i dont know.Is there anything else for me to try. please help

[xn728]

hi molly6 we all feel your pain my dear freind ,in differant ways ,but we
all understand what its like to live in that dark hole ,i wish i could give you
all the answers you want ,but ive been loking along time also ,but i can
offer to listen and try and support you ,in your torment ,this is a large family here in the forum ,and we love and care for each other ,we all try
to give warmth and kindness in our words ,we all have differants takes on our illness but together we are ,and if we stand fast we will grow stronger im sure ,it takes great strength to live with this dark beast i i to brought to girls up with my depression ,but i kept them safe from it and didnt allow it to enter there world ,there grown up now and are both happy ,you will find the will to bring your children up ,theres no doubt ,and if you allow us we
will offer you all the support we can ,we are not doctors or experts ,but
we walk that road your on now ,,welcome to the forum molly6 and if
you should stumble on this journey reach out and we will catch your fall
hopefully the freinds you will meet here will help you ,and offer a little comfort ,,,,,,hugs xn728

[aim]

Hey Molly... so sorry to hear about your troubles. Can't imagine depression looming while you have to look after young children at the same time.

I know it's scary, Molly. God knows I know. You feel that you have lost control of your own feelings and it's just not right, is it? But don't fret, friend. All will be ok.

I know that PPD can last many years, but you will get out of it. Sometimes it takes many tries at different medications and even different combinations of medications before the doctors get it right. Also, please do remember that it takes some weeks for medications to work, and while you are waiting, the time is cruel. Sometimes there are side effects as well, but they generally do improve with time.

Molly, please do hang in there, it will all be fine. Try the meds, keep talking to a nurse/therapist and also - please do try writing. A blog is a great way to let your thoughts out and to stay annonymous at the same time. Also, these forums, realizing you are NOT alone and feeling all of the support helps too.

Keep writing, Molly. And best of luck to you.

[Misty]

Hello Molly,
Welome and I'm glad you found this sanctuary where no one is judged and feelings are not discounted. There is never an easy way to ease pain and if you do indeed have depression it may not last as long as you think. Sometimes all it takes is being able to vent things you normally would not tell those closest to you. We're here for you and you can say anything.

Take Care,
Misty

[aim]

((((Molly)))) You've gone away... are you ok? I hope you return and let us know how you are doing... we are here for you.