feeling dreadful and dark

[xn728]

today is worse than i thought ,its very dark and i feel so low ,i have no compulsion to get up anymore ,i wish to lay alone and cry to relieve the pain ,but i have to go to work and hide it once more ,keeping it in is killing me ,my stomach is in a terrible knot ,the visitor has me in that grip around my throat ,it looks into my face and screams at me ,with foul obsenatives,it is in pain its self ,because it cannot take my life ,it must travel this endless road with me ,till such a time when my end is due to come
but neither of us have the right to stop this jorney here ,so we scream together ,sometimes at each other but manly at life itself ,i cant live with this pain but i cant vent it either,there is no comfort for me ,imust live with my visitor ,i dont know any other way ,,im not reaching out here
i just need to record how i feel ,,,,xn728

[crybaby1086]

Vent away Ken. I'm listening. And I'm not afraid of what anyone has to say.

[xn728]

crybaby ,thankyou for calling on me again ,im ok ,i carry my pain well
but it helps to talk about it ,ive had a rough day at work ,its hard being so
down and having to seem happy for the customers ,all happy and talking about xmas ,still here i am ,listening to guns and roses ,its dark outside
and dark in my mind to ,the visitor still has that grip around mt throat ,i cant seem to shake it off ,how are you ,hope your coping ok ,if you fall we,ll always be here to catch you ,your a dear and trusted friend ,,,,,ken