my pain

[xn728]

my pain is to rise and see the light in the window ,and know i face another day of meaningless existance ,i sit on the edge of the bed ,knowing i should move ,but not really wanting to .12345 come on up we get ,open the same draws get dressed ,shave ,make tea for us both ,look ok for fran ,while she gets ready ,i lay queitly down on the settee down stairs so it doesnt creak ,another 10 minutes please thats all
10 minutes gone in depression time 10 seconds ,all day fighting the thoughts ,trying to figure out what it is that makes me this way ,i must change it ,yes ,yes ,you can ,but ive said this for years ,good intentions ,but nothing ever changes ,8 years ago an fresh young phychartrist ,tell me how you feel ,what again ,,,no please i will make you better ,hope he seems so confident ,how many youngsters have i sat before now ,at least 6 ,i dont bother now ,tell them im coping ,and of the visions and creepies that appear before me ,forget it if i told of these demons id be under lock and key ,i have fran to think of ,i cant risk anything happening to me ,so my pain ,life itself ,some people shine so bright in this world around me but i can only wonder why ,i see the tablets i have to take soon in that neat little pile ,that is my life take them tonight and cloud the darkness enough for me to crawl through another emotionless empty day ,thank whatever it is in command out there for my dear wife Fran ,if it werent for her needs and love ,i wouldnt have the srength to carry on ,,,,,,,,,,xn728

[Mich]

Your existence isn't meaningless. You are a good husband, father and friend and you are needed in all those roles. Did today bring any yapph for you?

[xn728]

i hope your ok mich ,hope you get a good tommorrow ,,,,,,,night ,,,ken