hello there. it is 2:30am i am still up even though i took strong sleeping pills. i love life, have a great family, i'm thankful for what i have, but yet, i am bored, and restless, i am not suicidal but i am not happy either.
my wife is out of work and we are arguing more than ever just from being with eachother too much!
even if she finds a job chances are she will hate it! i hate my job,and that makes me not want to wake up for work.
everyone these days seems to be out of work or hating their job.
spouses are fighting over money and being home with eachother too much.
anyhow i would type more but i'm drugged up, and should probally sleep, anyhow i know there is always a bvrighter day somewhere somehow but as for now, i am bored with this dull life.
and for those who say there are only dull people not dull life's to you i say WRONG!
NOTHING TO LIVE FOR~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
so much pain
,hi tishntosh
im ken age 51 ,depressed for 43 years ,married great family ,wife has chronic lung problems ,no money really so nothing to argue about ,not that we would anyway ,i know about being bored etc and with depression its a killer ,many times i think about suicide ,but never take that step ,i cant
i have the love of that family and no matter how much pain i have ,i just carry on ,but just latly ive realised ive given so much and left myself nothing ,so from now slowly but surely im gonna try and get something back ,keep going my freind ,you will make new freinds here and it may lift you a little ,sorry i cant make that drive , xn728,,,,ken
im ken age 51 ,depressed for 43 years ,married great family ,wife has chronic lung problems ,no money really so nothing to argue about ,not that we would anyway ,i know about being bored etc and with depression its a killer ,many times i think about suicide ,but never take that step ,i cant
i have the love of that family and no matter how much pain i have ,i just carry on ,but just latly ive realised ive given so much and left myself nothing ,so from now slowly but surely im gonna try and get something back ,keep going my freind ,you will make new freinds here and it may lift you a little ,sorry i cant make that drive , xn728,,,,ken
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crystalgaze
- Posts: 2511
- Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
- Location: USA
Hi there & welcome to the forum!
It is good that you see what is bothering you.
My question to you is: If you are bored/restless, what are you currently doing about it? Do you have some hobbies? Is there any thing you like to do? (Of course, it doesn't have to be something that takes money. For example you might take a walk & if you find a spot, take a blanket/towel/whatever with you & camp out for a moment, just be out with nature for a little bit.)
About happiness, I'm just going to say that from my experiences (as limited as they may be), I've found that it never worked out when I sought it from an external source, without being happy first somewhere in myself. Some people can do the world for others & try to do all the nice, kind things for that 1 person & he/she will still not be "happy".
About the arguing, hhmm.... is there some way a conversation can be struck up, where some place in there it's said very calmly, gently & in a soft tone of voice, "You know, we've been doing this every day & this is not helping us. Can't we do something different today?"
You just explain it's not being said as an argument, but that "I am seeing our quality of life decline" & that's not what you want for the marriage. You'll have to ask her whether she's on board with you in wanting some of those same things. (Who really wants to be unhappy like that?)
If happiness is a state of mind, then slowly we must change/alter our attitudes/mindsets. It's a tough order, but you can do it!
Wishing you all the best & take care,
~Crystal
P.S. Feel free to post as much or as little as you like. Oh yes.... & you do have something/someone to live for & it's YOURSELF!!!
It is good that you see what is bothering you.
My question to you is: If you are bored/restless, what are you currently doing about it? Do you have some hobbies? Is there any thing you like to do? (Of course, it doesn't have to be something that takes money. For example you might take a walk & if you find a spot, take a blanket/towel/whatever with you & camp out for a moment, just be out with nature for a little bit.)
About happiness, I'm just going to say that from my experiences (as limited as they may be), I've found that it never worked out when I sought it from an external source, without being happy first somewhere in myself. Some people can do the world for others & try to do all the nice, kind things for that 1 person & he/she will still not be "happy".
About the arguing, hhmm.... is there some way a conversation can be struck up, where some place in there it's said very calmly, gently & in a soft tone of voice, "You know, we've been doing this every day & this is not helping us. Can't we do something different today?"
You just explain it's not being said as an argument, but that "I am seeing our quality of life decline" & that's not what you want for the marriage. You'll have to ask her whether she's on board with you in wanting some of those same things. (Who really wants to be unhappy like that?)
If happiness is a state of mind, then slowly we must change/alter our attitudes/mindsets. It's a tough order, but you can do it!
Wishing you all the best & take care,
~Crystal
P.S. Feel free to post as much or as little as you like.
Oh yes.... & you do have something/someone to live for & it's YOURSELF!!!thank you both! crystal those are great suggestions, let me say, that i am very sensitive, feeling,alert to my feelings and others that surround me, and my wife, is more hardned more tough on the outter shell, and therefore there is friction.
i am all for talking things out, and trying to improve our quality of marriage, but my wife is strong headed stubborn, and un coroporative.
meanwhile all in all i find i'm ok during the daytime, and at night i get depressed.
in fact it's a guage ~~ if i ever get depressed during ther daytime hours i feel that ` THAT would be a cauae for alarm! for that would be real depression.
for me at night i think about my life, what have i accomplished? what have i to look forward to etc. etc?
i am all for talking things out, and trying to improve our quality of marriage, but my wife is strong headed stubborn, and un coroporative.
meanwhile all in all i find i'm ok during the daytime, and at night i get depressed.
in fact it's a guage ~~ if i ever get depressed during ther daytime hours i feel that ` THAT would be a cauae for alarm! for that would be real depression.
for me at night i think about my life, what have i accomplished? what have i to look forward to etc. etc?
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crystalgaze
- Posts: 2511
- Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
- Location: USA
Okay, okay. I think I see what you are saying more now.
Hhhmmm.... Let's see.... Okay, since it's a night thing....
How about creating a log where you put down things you want to do? any & every thing, even if if sounds ridiculous...
& you can sort of do a goals sort of thing... (I know it may 1st be a little intimidating, though.)
So... do you want to complete a marathon? Would that be interesting to you?
Would you like to learn more about a topic? Let's say it's related to money.... So you want to find out about CDs from the bank... You can put it down as a goal & go into the bank or on your bank's web site & get information.
Are there any books you want to read? Perhaps you can check out the library, so when you're up at night, you have something so you don't beat yourself up so much.
Have you ever tried/Do you like sudoku, jumble, crossword puzzles, circle a word, etc...? Drawing? Doodling?
Do you see where I am going with this?
Maybe you might want to jot down your accomplishments as well.... You got married, so that's one. You managed to land a job. That's another. You probably finished some kind of schooling/training. That's 3. Continue on & if you don't like the length of your list, start thinking of things you might want to tackle.... From learning a new language to crocheting, etc.
Well, crocheting may not be for you, but I just threw it out there.
Hhhmmm.... Let's see.... Okay, since it's a night thing....
How about creating a log where you put down things you want to do? any & every thing, even if if sounds ridiculous...
& you can sort of do a goals sort of thing... (I know it may 1st be a little intimidating, though.)
So... do you want to complete a marathon? Would that be interesting to you?
Would you like to learn more about a topic? Let's say it's related to money.... So you want to find out about CDs from the bank... You can put it down as a goal & go into the bank or on your bank's web site & get information.
Are there any books you want to read? Perhaps you can check out the library, so when you're up at night, you have something so you don't beat yourself up so much.
Have you ever tried/Do you like sudoku, jumble, crossword puzzles, circle a word, etc...? Drawing? Doodling?
Do you see where I am going with this?
Maybe you might want to jot down your accomplishments as well.... You got married, so that's one. You managed to land a job. That's another. You probably finished some kind of schooling/training. That's 3. Continue on & if you don't like the length of your list, start thinking of things you might want to tackle.... From learning a new language to crocheting, etc.
Well, crocheting may not be for you, but I just threw it out there.
that all makes senses, and i appreciate your efforts, they do not go un listened to~~~~~ sometimes i just don't know what i want from my life? it's just well i don't know,i guess i could sort things out with a list i suppose, it wouldn't hurt to try, i am living in north carolina in the states, i suppose your in england? and our times are off? meaning if i was up late at night, and wanted to chat, and it was around 2:00am here, you would be around 7:00am england time,correct?
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crystalgaze
- Posts: 2511
- Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
- Location: USA
yeahhhh im the one ,wrong side of the clock
,yes i think your about 5 hrs behind ,us in england ,so its a bit akward ,so i just post ,i know your all there ,im good like that ,but we do all right ,
cheers guys ,,,,,,xn728 age 51 and 5 hours ,,,,,,ken
if my footsteps should end ,dont try to follow ,
cheers guys ,,,,,,xn728 age 51 and 5 hours ,,,,,,ken
if my footsteps should end ,dont try to follow ,
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