Feel my Pain

[Xxken728]

You do feel my pain dont you ,because you are me
the dark sinister chemical that lives and breaths within my brain ,My clinical deppression born together ,You invisible and silent ,beside my newborn cries.
A young child always different ,without feeling and understanding ,to grow up to cause hurt and misery to everyone i touched,
The shadow in the bedroom doorway watching no gestures ,just cold and cunning ,of course it was You, an image created by a young boys mind , And then I a youth who has torn his way through so many lives destroying freindships and causing his parents and his young Wife so much pain and fear . Against all odds I pulled on through and provided a happy life ,and had two great daughters
Now my Wife living with a serious illness ,I see the pain in her eyes and feel it in her touch .
So now the Old Man I have become, Struggles,and loses control and runs away and causes even more trouble ,hurting himself feeling the need to be punished,but reaching out for some help ,
So there you were again the dark savage sentinel ,laying out the past i never wanted my girls to see .
They understand of course,but it hurts still causing pain.
So now I live alone ,But still care for my Wife I love her and would give My life so she could be Well again,
Its Cold here ,and you are always with me, you see through my eyes ,you know what im thinking.
At night you sleep in my sleeping ,and you dream in my dreaming ,When my eyes close ,you visit upon me unspeakable things .
Nightmares of things not of this earthly creation ,creatures from a place deep within my mind ,,Our mind .
So as much as it will hurt me ,You and i will feel my pain together, But I will continue to be Husband an a Father ,And you my silent friend will Not stand in my way.
I will leave this here ,Im sick of hiding how i feel ,there is nowere else For it to go ,Me And Myself.
So here you all are ,Feel My Pain.