todays duty over ,i will walk into the darkness

[xn728]

,well folks today has been hard ,lots of emotions ,felt like crying ,felt like screeming ,felt angry,all behind the mask of looking normal and ok
walking amongst the living. deviod of the emotion of happiness and well being ,cold and unfeeling ,in the supermarket ,on the street ,these warm beings with strange expressions on there faces .smiling and laughing this is called ,oh to own such precious things .and i the cold corpse that walks among them ,hating and cursing in my twisted mind jelious of what they
have ,that witch i lost to many years ago to remember ,so now the night has come and i can go to bed .i dont have to wear the mask now i can fain sleep while the dark one suspends me over the edge of the world hoping i will beg to fall ,he will bring forth the demons to tear me apart so many times till morning comes ,they gather now as i type ,the visitor beside me watching ,waiting i can feel its icy grip around my wrist it is time to go ,once more to that foul part of my mind ,were the life i lived many years ago perpetuly plays over ,over,over ,screaming ,burning beating ,running always running ,but run as i may its always right behind me .so i will lay down shortly and the visitor will cover me with his blanket of darkness ,and sometime in the night i,ll wake up scared because it was so real ,always real ,and i,ll think of my mother and father ,and the pain i caused them ,But i will stand up in the morning because i must ,i deserve my pain but the ones who love and need me only deserve love .so tommorrow the mask i will wear again ,and again, and again,,,,,,
i dont fear the visitor .only what it shows me ,,,,,,,,,,xn728

[Mich]

You don't deserve your pain. Just like your family, you deserve love and caring. I know how much you suffer. I only wish you had an escape from it through sleep but it sounds like the demons torment you even in sleep. You are a remarkable person that you are able to keep standing through all of this. You give me strength to do the same day after day even when it seems utterly impossible. I wish you some respite from your pain today.