Sometimes i feel like I never had a chance, I first felt suicidal around 10

[fantasmagirl]

I never felt normal. I fear I will never know what it's like to be normal. I feel like I don't exist. I would stand in the school yard and just look at all the normal kids. I thought I had a change, i really did. Even when I went through bullying, I thought eventually I'd be happy. Happiness is too far away, i don't have a way of getting to it. I feel like a failure because I am. I feel like I shouldn't exist, and I feel like a mistake. I'm not wrong. But I don't want to be this way...
I have nothing to show for my life, nothing. I haven't accomplished anything. I don't have a single trophy. I know my mom doesn't like me much. I don't like me either.

[wrenloren]

You seem to be struggling with a great deal of emotional baggage and confusion at the moment.basketball stars You should know that you are not the only one who feels this way. A lack of acceptance and inadequate self-esteem affects a lot of people.

[ShannonMckee]

You are not alone in feeling like this, and there are resources out there to help you through tough times.low’s adventures A therapist can help you understand why you feel the way you do and offer strategies to improve how you see yourself and find meaning in your life.

[MindHalfFull]

When viewing life from these perspectives, it is imperative to only expect what is in our control. We can't let ourselves try to live like others around us can. Our minds are very skilled at labeling ourselves. It will always be a challenge to combat the pessimistic perspectives, and there will always be a reason we choose to keep combating them. The good feeling we all wish we could derive from this, I've found, often comes from making something positive out of something negative. For instance, I like to take my experience with depression and suicidal thoughts and contribute on sites like this one. It makes me feel like my trauma in life is actually valuable. Even if I can help just one person in one moment, it makes me feel possibly valuable.

[Feelingsareweird2]

As soon as I read the caption I knew I would relate. Growing up, I wasn't suicidal because I didn't know that suicide was an option. I was just depressed. Bullying at school and a lack of understanding at home played big roles. I'm sorry you feel that way. The good thing about life is you still have time to get achievements and do something for yourself as long as you're not in a casket lol. So, I hope that brings you a little comfort.
I also could relate when you said you didn't like yourself. I hope you get to the point where you do. There's always going to be something good about you. It's there, hiding in plain sight. Just have to find it