Living In the Past

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2022 9:58 pm

Living In the Past

Postby minnie9905 » Fri Jun 24, 2022 10:05 pm

I never thought i’d write a post like this anywhere for that matter, but i’ve ran out of options. I have lived with being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression since i was 12 years old. now i’m in my mid 20s and it feels like me being me again won’t ever happen. my only success is that i haven’t ended it solely due to i can’t do it to my family and i wimp out. i miss feeling alive. i miss being out going and happy. i miss thinking i had a future. i don’t have nothing anymore. i live in the past because i regret every thing in it. i cry everyday alone in my room where no one can hear me. i’m off my anti depressants and anxiety meds simply because i stopped caring and stopped therapy because again i didn’t care. i considered going to a support group if i can find one but i don’t know if i have the guts. i just wish i had a time machine i don’t like how my life has turned out and it’s only me to blame. i thought i was a good person i never wanted to hurt people but i have. i’m a people pleaser. it’s all i’ve ever been and now i’m disgusting. i’ve spent time in the psych ward in 2017. i had services show up to my house last year when i was about to end things. i’ve had 2 attempts in my life the last one 2020. i really have ran out of hope and i don’t see myself being normal i feel like i’m all alone and i deserve it honesty

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