are we the same

[mywords]

it's interestingly crazy how fast I can switch up from feeling exhausted from crying to numb during a depressive episode. Just a moment ago I felt like living is a waste of time and so is my existence , wanted to rip off my skin to be completely indifferent, no emotion , dull with a blank stare. Can't I just dissappear so everyone can leave me tf alone . I want to be and feel at peace .

What does it feel to be happy ? To have your eyes light up ? I don't even remember how emotions are like , how did I end up with all of this, how I was before . I don't remember be happy for a long time it was always short-lived .

[xpellegrino12]

Hey, yeah we’re the same. Currently curled up on the bathroom floor with the door locked. I was crying for the past hour but it’s gone again, and it’s just back to empty.

Being alone makes me feel trapped in my head but being around people makes me feel trapped to what they want and paranoid of their intentions especially when I can’t even think straight. Let’s disappear together! You want peace and I want safety.

It makes sense how feeling too much leads to feeling nothing. I remember what it felt like to be happy, to care about things but now every time I experience it, I’m just waiting, knowing that coming down is 10x worse than feeling those happy moments.

I don’t know where it came from either. It just appeared and slowly ate me alive. Until I was no longer me. I already died now I’m just waiting for my body to get the memo.

But from one stranger to another, I hope you find a way to breathe again…you’re not alone in it, you’re not crazy, unless we’re both crazy! Stay on this rollercoaster with me please <3