I am HIV positive and it is killing me

[Vicky123456789]

All my life I wanted to be something and now I am HIV positive with twin babies (8 months) they getting their results in August and I guess that is what stresses me the most. No one knows except my boyfriend who I am not sure if he has accepted. My heart bleeds, if my babies get diagnosed with HIV then I will not be able to live with myself. I was once raped by a neighbor you know, I have flash backs of it day by day. I think I was 10 years when he raped me, I can still remmbr him on top of me with all the alcohol he was stinking. I feel like a failure at my age no job nothing. I’m alone and it hurts me but I will be okay, for the sake of my kids.