Chimpulous

[Chimpulous2]

Hello my name is Peter Foster aka Chimpulous. Before you might ask I got that name because my brother said i make chimp faces once and it just stuck ... Anyway I have been battling/living with/being kind with/coping with depression for a long time now (about 7 years). I am a keen artist and some day I would like to make a game that will shake the earth, but its a lot of work. I can draw, animate do a Kermit the frog impression. Stupid stuff like that :p. I am very lonely... I feel like I can't function sometimes its that bad. I probably don't need to tell you how bad depression can be. But i'm glad I found this place and how good it is to see that there's always someone willing to talk to you, no matter what you're going through. And how much positivity there is... and in the best way. Its so sincere. I'm lucky to have had deep conversations with one or two people. Sometimes about them, sometimes about me. But I think its helped me a lot. Anyway I wanted to post a bit about me and there's also a blog on my thoughts. Less about depression but more about how something would inspire me. I hope you enjoyed reading this and here is a picture of a baby rhinoceros.

[Spleefy]

Haha, nice pic of the baby rhino. He is adorable

Thanks for sharing more about yourself. That is an interesting story behind your name. It’s hilarious how we get our nicknames. In school, I was called “alien.” I never understood why I was called that. It wasn't until years later when, the person who started it, told me why. Once I found out, it become a compliment instead of name calling

You have some wonderful interests and ambitions, and it sounds like you are multi-talented. Gosh, you are starting to make me think hard about my own life now Last time I checked, I have few interests or talents

I’m glad that you found comfort in this forum. There are plenty of people who will always listen to you and offer you support. And, with your own experiences with depression and great sense of humour, you have so much to offer other people, both here and outside the forums.

I look forward to learning more about you. Perhaps, if you are up to it, you could even post a few of your art works or drawings. I’m sure many people here would love to see them—I definitely would.

My father paints. He used to take me to the art gallery and museum as a kid because I loved it so much. Then we would go to the park opposite the gallery and have lunch… very fond memories. I find the art gallery therapeutic.

[athena.vhd]

hello Peter Foster aka Chimpulous
welcome here. were glad to have u in this forum!
open to talk if u want.
as im getting better by talking to this ppl .
hope u get better soon.

[Chimpulous2]

Thanks Spleefy, you sure know how to make a guy feel welcome, that in itself is better than any talent imo. Yeah maybe I will post some art at some point. Though I usually hide behind my work i suppose, i wanted to be just myself and i dunno... But some time in the future i might post some art work as there is an appropriate section in the forums. Also Athena yes I would love to chat with you, let me know the time and place and we can.

[Spleefy]

Yes, only if and when you feel comfortable in sharing your art. You definitely be yourself because there is only ONE you, and you are the best version of you.

Art is a great outlet and form of self expression.

I wish I had artistic abilities or an aptitude for something. One thing I've always struggled with is finding my talents and skill set. Usually we just need to try different things to find what we are good at and not good at. But then you find something you are good at it but don't really enjoy doing OR you find something you enjoy but not good at it

I haven't done much painting or drawing. My father guided me to paint a city when I was twelve, and it turned out quite good actually. However, one thing I lack is patience. It's probably why, when I have problems, I like to take the bull by the horns and resolve it immediately if not sooner I just don't have much patience sadly. This also makes it hard for me to work on developing new skills because I get too frustrated when it takes too long to master I need to work on that otherwise I'll never develop skills. Gosh, and you thought you had issues!

You mentioned that you want to develop video games. What genre and type of games were you thinking about developing? I think it is a fantastic ambition. I toyed with the idea myself years ago. I don't know programming (although I could learn it), but I am an ideas person. I come up with ideas, many ideas, but lack the know-how or knowledge to implement them lol.

[Chimpulous2]

hey Spleefy, yes a lot of people seem to be unfamiliar with their skills. It seems to frustrate people but i do believe people do have aptitudes for certain things. Anyway i suppose its just one aspect of our lives after all is said and done. I do think most importantly you have to enjoy what you are working on and you need to see some improvement over time (it could take many years). you seem to write a lot, ever thought about writing? I dunno patience seems like a strength. What I do is just being into something and forgetting everything else. Time happens to go by and you can be happy to see the work come together (not that i do much more than sketching these days). I suppose I also relied on beliefs to breakthrough the struggles of learning code. I suffered a lot from it and still do, but i feel like i should do whatever is in my power if i'm to try to make a go at making something new.

I suppose iv'e been involved in making games for a long time now. I'm part of a team of three working on a game called Kraden's Crypt, which is like a dungeon crawler with physics elements and its co-op. I also made a game prototype where you are a seagull dive bombing people's food and escaping with it. I have a top secret project about evolution and I have ideas here and there. But progress is slow and its very frustrating. I love to have ideas and i do think they are the driving point of creation. One of the simplest ways to get your ideas out is writing drawing and i would say even composing is getting there. Even your photography and beach therapy post is inspiring and i thought that was a great idea. You made it into something you could share that is designed to help people. I think that's pretty damn cool.

[kevinloveslena]

Hello @Chimpulous,

I am really sorry that you are going through this deep, dark valley right now; however, I think that you have an excellent outlook and am glad that I get to converse with you. I must say that the rhino pic is excellent! I have been suffering from severe depression and the best thing that has ever worked was accepting Christ, meditating on the Bible, and prayer. I know that this is not something that everyone is willing to look into, but it has brought me more joy and peace than anything. I wish this for you.

God bless you,

Kevin