a story that needs to be heard.

[sonya1026]

my name is sonya, im new here. i can say i lived a normal life but that would be a lie. my father was once a european nba star, and so was my uncle. i can say im blessed but i would be lying. my mom told me i was a constant lier and i am the troubled one in the family, and i aslways believed her because she was my mother. i was surronded by love and affection but it wasnt enough for me. even at the best of times,i would be sad. i would constantly have dreams of my parents getting a devorce and for some reason that made me happy. but when i would wake up i would be so sad. i just dont know why. i would come home from school and get something to eat, my parents and sister didnt get home from work until 5 or 6,depends on the day. it was just me home alone.i felt so free and happy but then my mom would come home and my dad then my sister and once the family was together my life turned into a living hell. everyone screaming and shouting no peace. my dad would leave and mother would cry and all the anger was turned to me.thats when i couldnt take it anymore, i started to cut. it just became a lil scare here and their to cuts all over my body. i did it for 2 years, freshman and sophmore year of high school. mom didint know dad didnt care. my emotions even got in the way, i was so angry at life that me a my sister got into a fight, thats when everything came out about me cutting. my mom just said oh and she told me i had it coming, i sat their and cried. today i just dont care anymore, i've locked myself in my room only to leave for the bathroom and something to eat. i've stopped cutting but i have this longing for something more. i truly need advice before i do something stupid.

[georgiapeach]

((((((((((((((( sonya )))))))))))))))))))) <--- thats a hug by the way
welcome here, im sorry to hear about all the issues and complications you are having in life. its rough. have you thought about seeing a therapist or a doctor for some help with your problems. to me you sound kinda depressed, and maybe seeing one and getting therapy will help you out. im not a professional but those would be my recomendations to anyone. with the cutting issue, my family reacted the same way when they found out, except there was more to it but i wont enter details. please remember that its something that is serious and not a healthy way of coping at all... i have to admit its been a long time since i've SI and i will say its not easy to stop, but its possible. so keep your head up hun and we're here to help so just keep posting if you need to <3