Holding On

[Spirt]

It has taken me so long to pluck up enough courage to do this, I'm hoping that writing down my thoughts and feelings will take away that sinking feeling: the feeling that I just want to crawl into a hole and not come out. Not one for being a great talker I have always bottled things up but within the last 5 years have resigned from the job I thought I would be in forever, prepared for a court case that never happened, in the last 2 years have seen 2 close friends die from Cancer, have another 2 friends fighting cancer and my father recovering from cancer. I hit a wall: I couldn't give any more of myself to friends or family but feel guilty for not being able to cope. Since starting counselling things have been slightly easier but there are so many emotions to come out: so many thoughts of self doubt and failure: why do I feel like I do and why can't I go back to being me!
I do have 2 great friends who listen, but don't want to burden them.
Here's hoping this helps as I just want to start liking myself again