So I am Greek and I am studying in England. I have always been the most enjoyable person to be around and i was always trying to make other people happy in every possible way. But lately I feel so sad and depressed and I can no longer smile even at the simplest things. The thing is that I have no clue why! I find myself crying and feeling desperate at times and it really scares me to be honest. I have a lovely family, lovely friends and the best boyfriend a girl could ever ask for! They all care about me more than I care about myself.
It drains me slowly and causes conflicts and arguments with the people i care the most about (i find myself being in a mood with people for silly reasons but I cant help it).
Last night i was in bed with my boyfriend and I started feeling really sad and just before he fell asleep I started sobbing for absolutely no reason. 5 minutes later he managed to make me calm down and we fell asleep. The thing is that in the morning the same thing happened. I'm really sick of it and i'm sure he is too. What was really terrifying was the fact that I always thought that my boyfriend could somehow help me(as he was going through the same situation) but last night I realised that he cant (and its not his fault. He tries so hard to keep me happy and I'm constantly in a mood with him)
I feel like there is no point in doing anything anymore and i can no longer enjoy things i used to, unless it's with my boyfriend or my best friend here (who both know about my depression). I feel like i need to do something but everyday i'm feeling lower than the previous one.
I feel like i'm giving up on university (and i really hate it! i need to finish my degree because i dont wanna disappoint all of the people i love) because I cant concentrate on doing my uni work or waking up to go to my classes! I used to stay up all night and go straight to classes but i was extremely tired, i didnt even know what was going on! I have no energy to even do my weekly shopping anymore. I cannot enjoy the things I used to do in order to feel better anymore. Honestly, it's really scary! I cannot tell my family about it because they are struggling with life and this will just give them another reason to worry about + they are too sensitive and i'm sure that, especially my dad, will not be able to deal with it.
Suicide is not an option! As much as it seems like one when i'm desperate and in the middle of a crisis, i dont have the strength to do it, because i know how much sadness it will bring to the life of the people i love the most.
Those 2 people that know about my depression have been really understanding so far but i just need some extra support/advice or at least knowing that someone else is going through the same situation as I am.
Any kind of reply will be appreciated. Thanks for reading and sorry for the long post!