I'm not in school and I don't get to leave the house much?

[ShoppingQueen]

Hey guys! I really need some advice. You can read my other threads for additional info but this should give you a good idea of what’s going on. I have severe anxiety. All throughout high school and college (while I was in school) my anxiety was under control. I was getting daily social interaction for hours, exercise from walking from class to class, and my brain was occupied (had to go here and there and what’s going on in class, etc).

I recently took a semester off school due to my low ferritin (tired all the time, thinning hair) and my appearance not looking good (I wasn’t going to keep going through school looking the way I do, I like to present myself a certain way and the way I look is not it). I also was tired of running into people I knew from high school (long story there) and had enough of it. During that semester, my mom didn’t take me to campus even though I insisted. It’s an hour there and an hour back and she didn’t want to go. I said I wanted to just sit in a large lecture class and nobody would even know I wasn’t in the class. It would be like a freshman class so there wouldn’t be anybody I knew there. She wouldn’t go for it. She took me to campus one time I believe but only to get a book for an online class I was taking.

As soon as I took the semester off school, my anxiety started getting worse. She comes in from work and wants to unwind and take a nap. I’ve been asleep all day and don’t want to nap and just want to go out places. But there’s absolutely nothing to do in this house so when she goes to nap, I go nap too even though I’ve been asleep all day. The only places she takes me to is the grocery store and the bookstore. She may offer other places like Victoria’s Secret but all the girls who shop there look good so I don’t wanna go there. And on days when she does take me out, she says how she really wanted to take a nap and I stopped her from napping and how she can’t ever do what she wants to do. I did not want to take another semester off school but I was in the same situation so I had no choice. I can’t start to fix my appearance (like getting my hair done) until my hair thickens back up which can’t happen until I get my ferritin back up which can’t happen until I take the Flintstones vitamin for kids (yes for kids but my anxiety is so bad that I can’t even take a vitamin that kids take). And no I can’t take any other supplements except for this one so I’m not looking for recommendations. I only feel comfortable with the Flintstones.

Since taking another semester off, my anxiety has gotten even worse. I have a lot of anxiety around food (no I do not have an eating disorder, I mean I can’t eat food that other people have made cause I might get sick from it. My mom has to cook everything which causes her stress). Also, my overall anxiety has heightened significantly. But instead of seeing that, my mom says my anxiety always morphs into something and this time it’s food. When I was in school, I had no anxiety around other people making my food. I didn’t have time to think about it with all I had going on. My mom still won’t take me to campus except to get a book for my online class. They offer yoga classes daily where you can just drop in. She won’t take me for those either. She has told me she will take me to eat their food though, something I can’t do. I haven’t seen people my own age in a year. I do not have my driver’s license or a car btw so I can’t drive myself. And I do not want to take driver’s ed. That’s extremely embarrassing to be in college and not be able to drive. Also, I have really bad OCD so I’m not riding in a driver’s ed car. She is supposed to get me a car soon but Idk when that will be. Also my doctor has recommended therapy for my anxiety and made a couple suggestions as far as places. I looked it up and read descriptions of therapists and found one I wanted to see. She doesn’t want to go cause of price. She wants to find a really cheap therapist. Also, she won’t take me cause I want to use a fake name cause I don’t want to tell someone who has my name all my business even if it is confidential. But that’s probably a good thing since I would get nervous about germs at the place anyway.

Having to cook all my food and deal with my constant anxiety has made my mom who was once very loving lose compassion for me. As far as the Flintstones, she tells me “Put up or shut up.” Occasionally her loving side comes out but most of the time, she doesn’t care, she yells at me, she’s sick of dealing with me, etc. But there’s nothing I can do about my anxiety. Anybody even someone who didn’t already have anxiety is going to start to develop anxiety if they’re stuck in a house 24/7. It’s like a cage and I can’t get out. It’s depressing and I’m extremely anxious. Any advice/suggestions? I love my mom very much but I can’t keep living like this. I should be having lots of fun in college but instead this is my life. She doesn’t do anything to fix it. She doesn’t care. And Idk what to do. Please help! Thanks in advance!

[ShoppingQueen]

I went and yelled at her cause I'm so sick of living like this and she calls my grandmother (her mom) saying this:

"You don't see her. You don't live with her. I'm emotionally exhausted. I'm sick of this shit. It's every time I turn around. I'm sick of being beat down."

And that she should come here and take me walking around the neighborhood. I don't want to go walking!! I want to see people my own age!!

But as usual, she acts like she's the victim and I'm the villain.