I don't know how to continue

[riddle_me_this]

So I'm resorting to online forums because our country's suicide hotline wasn't available at 4PM, 8PM and 3AM over 3 consecutive days.

My story.

I come from a middle-income family with hard working parents. They treat me and my sister right. They are really loving parents. Everything went alright till I got into college. My first year I failed a lot and decided to change towards something different, something a bit easier. However in doing so, I lost all of my friends from high school and that first year in university.So I started over. This time in a university which is more to my skill. Made a lot of friends and really blossomed there. However my academic points were still lacking.
I think I do know why I did poorly in school though. It's definitely not the lack of wits or being able to comprehend the subjects. This may sound a bit cocky but I graduated from a high school as an honour student with straight A's. (This is my countries comparison to American system). Yet I think that I was just tired of studying and more focused towards real life education (hence learning on the job in societies). Whenever the time came to really study hard, I became a serious procrastinator. Even when studying it would not seep in. Our tutors aren't really the type to talk to because they have 600+ students in every lesson. So I ended up with a lot of failed classes, which I lied about. I have kept on lying about grades for the last 2 years and it finally caught up with me.

I just heard the news that I am forbidden to return for another year at that university. I am not allowed to return to the faculty unless I get a degree somewhere else (minimum 3 years). Then I could try some special program.
I have taking different positions in clubs (Student council, AIESEC and others) in which people depend on me. However I am not allowed to return. This + the fact that a lot of people will shun me and make my life miserable again, give me a hopeless feeling.
I am fortune for having such great relatives and friends yet I let all the different options slip out from under me.


I would have committed suicide already if it wasn't for the pain that it causes to the people around me. They have no right to be the bearers of it. However my internal suffering is too big for me to handle and will eventually catch up with the consideration towards them.



I don't have anyone I can really talk to in real life. Part of it is a macho guy thing of not talking about your problems but the truth is I have been lying to everyone I know for 2 years straight about my grades...
It sucks that this just fell on me when I was head of a youth society and member in 3 other organisations.

I just don't know what to do, how to continue...

[ministry2014]

Dear riddle_me this, I am not a professional, but I have Bible knowledge, I would like to share with you part of an article out of a Bible magazine;
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS The Bible tells of many men and women who experienced negative emotions. For example, Hannah felt “bitter of soul”—a phrase that has been rendered as “brokenhearted” and “deeply distressed.” (1 Samuel 1:10) On one occasion the prophet Elijah was so grief-stricken that he prayed for God to take his life!—1 Kings 19:4.

How can you cope with depression?
“Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.”—Psalm 34:18.
WHY IT MATTERS You cannot always control your circumstances, and bad things are bound to affect you at times. (Ecclesiastes 9:11, 12) You can, however, develop a practical strategy so that negative feelings do not dominate your life.
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS The Bible acknowledges that those who are sick need a physician. (Luke 5:31) So if you suffer from a debilitating mood disorder, there is nothing wrong with seeking medical attention. The Bible also emphasizes the value of prayer. For example, Psalm 55:22 says: “Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you. Never will he allow the righteous one to totter.” Prayer is not a psychological crutch; it is real communication with Jehovah God, who is “near to those that are broken at heart.”—Psalm 34:18.
You may also benefit by confiding your feelings to a close friend. (Proverbs 17:17) “A fellow believer gently coaxed me to talk about my depression,” says Daniela, one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. “Although I had been avoiding such a conversation for years, I soon realized that this was what I needed all along. I was surprised at how relieved I felt afterward.”

I hope this article helps you, I am happy to share more with you if you are interested.

ministry2014

[riddle_me_this]

I am an atheist and while I do think there are some interesting things , mostly metaphors written in The Bible, I can't really get much strength and reliance out of it.

I do not really know how I can seek medical attention because despite the fact that I'm having these thoughts, they are related to college results.

Every friend I have thinks I'm doing great at everything: successful in school, societies, responsibilities etc... I don't know who to talk to.

[4EverMe]

Hello
I'm also a believer that when we pray to God He hears us...He created us, so when you really think about it He's our closest relative- : )

When seeking medical attention for depression, it doesn't matter what the depression actually stems from. It's the fact that you are suffering from depression itself. Please look into this, as it sure couldn't hurt.

Have you contemplated choosing a friend you trust most to discuss these issues? A true friend, after all, is one who will listen. Wouldn't you do the same? I have a feeling you would.
Maybe, consider someone you can confide in, set a time you two can meet for a walk, go for coffee, (whatever suits you both) and talk to this person. Honesty, and spilling the truth will go far in removing this secret burden you've been carrying...
A genuine friend will support and understand you, as well as maybe a family member you're particularly close to.
You cannot continue hiding things, and think this pain pain will dissipate. You're only human, and it's natural to confide in others. It doesn't make you 'weak.' On the contrary...It will only make you stronger when you've the strength and support of caring individuals.
And, especially from your Creator- Who created your DNA different from anybody else, Who made your fingerprints different. He knows you better than you know yourself! Of course, that's true of all of us. : )

I truly wish you the best. I'm hoping you'll open up to somebody and find some relief in this.
It is our job to carry one-another's burdens. Perhaps, it is someone you trust who will help you in relieving yours- even just by listening, without judgment.

[ministry2014]

I agree with 4everme, that was well done. There has to be that one true friend that you can rely on. One more suggestion, there are usually guidance counselors on campus and you can also walk in to a clinic maybe you will be comfortable speaking with someone you are not close too.

When our friends need help or may be suffering most will want you to talk to them. reach out to them.

I hope all the best for you, and I hope you find someone to confide in and help you through this.