I don't know what to do

[valee]

I have had depression for a while, about 4 years now. I'm 17 and I hoped over time it'd get better, you know? I didn't want to worry people about something that I didn't even know the cause to. Well now I have pretty bad anxiety. It ruins me. I have anxiety attacks in school and it's getting really hard to focus. I worry about everything, especially my grades and what college I will go to. I talked to my mom about maybe getting some medication, but she said no because she's afraid I would get addicted. However I am getting worse. My on and off boyfriend of the past few years is trying to make new friends and he began talking to my friends. My friends are females and I know he has no intention of leaving me for them truly, but somehow at the same time I don't know that. It's driving me crazy. Honestly, I'm afraid I may do something drastic to get his attention. I don't know why. I feel like none of my friends really like me and although I have a few good friends and my boyfriend I feel completely alone. I know none of this stuff is really that bad or important enough to worry anyone about them, but I feel like there is something wrong with me mentally which makes me both rational yet at the same time incapable of not thinking the worst will happen and completely freaking out.

[SMichelleA]

Hey....hang in there, girl. College is SUCH a stressful time in anyone's life. Anyone. You're also just at a tough age where everything is up in the air. I used to have very bad anxiety in college as well - if you ask me, it's far worse than dealing with the everyday depression.

Anyway, I'm really not one to promote drugs, although I've nothing much against them, either. But what I will say is that during the time of my divorce, I finally broke down and went on anti-anxiety meds for two months. My Lawwwrd, it is like being on a vacation every single day! I chilled OUT, lemme tell ya. I went off of them after two months because I felt a bit bubbled by them and was simply ready to re-enter the world in a naked state of mind. But ever since then....I don't freak out. I don't get paranoid or have anxiety attacks. Its the strangest thing...once my brain understood how great it was to be calm, it never reverted back. Mind you, I still struggle with depression. But ya win some, ya lose some. Maybe trying a very low dosage would be enough to just take the edge off. You need to be able to enjoy your relationship and focus on your studies!

There's no harm in talking to a doctor about it. But only if you want to. Your gut already knows.