My story

[King of self]

Well I frequently get stressed out easily but this year I went through severe depression. I have always scored quite well and sometimes even top score as well so this year was the last year for my university and I was into a group project. Unfortunately, my project depended on one of the group members who perhaps out of sheer laziness dragged it on unnecessarily and as a result, I couldn't do anything about my project on time and I slipped into depression so much so that I wanted to harm myself and I would think of death most of the time like when I went out. I just wanted to go far away from everyone else. But my faith kept me alive because I believe life is a blessing and self-harm shows ingratitude towards the God. So in the end, my project finally worked and I graduated from the university. Surprisingly I got very good marks in every other module but project which pulled down my overall grade so much so that I think my degree is totally useless. I got those self-harm thoughts again and finally I went to my university therapist first time. I had a session with her and that went great as I found it very helpful. Also I studied abroad so maybe homesickness was also one of the reasons for my depression so I got back to my home country and everything is quite under-control now.

Now it's been months that I am still unemployed perhaps due to my overall grade at the university. I have applied to a number of places and haven't even got a single call for a job interview. I just don't know how long will it continue. Near about every friend of mine is blissfully employed. I just don't know what to do? Some people daily bother me by asking questions like "Oh what are you doing? Nothing?". I don't know what will happen.

Those self-harming thoughts have started to haunt me again. I am again slipping into depression. I try my best to be positively positive because no one has the knowledge of future.

I don't know maybe it is karma or what? because when I was in college I used to make fun of my classmate who has had some kind of disorder and always seemed depressed and when I went through depression, I saw his personality in myself and I literally broke down in tears that what have I done? I don't know where he is at the moment but I pray for his well-being. I personally believe that depression is worse than all the diseases.

Thank you so much for reading my story.

[fallen]

sorry you are hurting, but maybe volunteer and work in a soup kitchen for the needy etc...so when you go for an interview and they say what you are doing ,you can say that.
it shows you are community minded, caring, thought full and motivated employers love that sort of thing !
take care

[Ieris]

I don't know which country you are in but unemployment levels have been high for quite a few years. I am in London and I see this in the news a lot. There are some who have sent out 2000 job applications and didn't hear back from any, it is depressing but they didn't give up. Which subject did you study?

Don't be stuck at home doing nothing, if you can't find a job at the moment consider the following options:

- Volunteering like Fallen has suggested (something you can fill in your CV rather than leave some big gap)

- Do a short course/training in the field that you would like to get into, try to get some work experience even if it isn't paid.

- Networking, go meet people tell them what your talents are and if they like you they may offer you something or know someone who can. (You know that phrase, it's not about what you know but who you know).

- I know your group mates let you down, can't you redo that module?

Don't give up, I wish you all the best in finding your dream job! x

[CrazyLady17]

(((Hugs)))
I care, I'm listening.

Keep posting an keep reaching out.

I volunteer at a homeless shelter near me; as I dropped out of college and don't have a job.
Maybe volunteering is something you can look into. Would be a positive step forward.