A dad or a husband no longer

[lost_man-Md]

I was married in 1989 at the age of 20 to the love of my life and we were happily married for well over 15 years. We had 2 very beautiful girls and life was great. Being a construction worker and working with my dad was icing on the cake as we had a very rocky time when i was younger.

As i got older my health started to fail and could no longer do my job and was released after over 10 years of service to the company. Our money was gone, i had no way to even get a new job as my health would not allow it. Even unemployment was refused as i was let go because i could not fulfill my obligations to my company.

It seemed like immediately that my wife started being unhappy. I have never asked her to work and she was a stay at home mom for over the course of our marriage which now is in it's 24th year or so. She had to go to work and of course she was not making enough with no experience. Stress and bills hit us, our marriage was suffering big time and then i found out she cheated on me. I was crushed.

Being unable to work has me stuck, depressed and very much at a low point in my life. I had thought about just giving up and even checked in to a hotel and planned to never walk back out but just could not do it. I gave my guns away and am trying to find a bright spot to go to. I just do not see one.

Well that is my story, brief i know but i guess the point of the story is there.

[Frame]

lost_man-Md;

That's a tough place to be in the middle of life. I don't know how much light I can add. I'm in a dark space myself right now. But I get strength from both posting and responding here.

[lost_man-Md]

Hopefully we can all help each other. It has to get better at some point is what i keep telling myself friend.

[Frame]

Are you still staying in a hotel?

[Alaska1958]

Hi, I too am unemployed do mostly to health issues. I had a job at the local public tv station f 16 years, but they let me go when it seemed like I couldn't keep up with the technology. Then my marriage of 18 years ended when my wife asked for a divorce. I have two boys aged 10 and 13. My wife wants sole custody and I want 50/50. Good luck to you. I hope you're depression eases up. Part of my marital trouble was that I have been depressed for so many years I can't remember what it was like not to be depressed and my wife got sick of living with a depressed man. I don't drink or use drugs, but I also have almost no interest in anything and a very low sex drive. Hold your girls close and love them for all you're worth.

[scrabble]

I'm in a similar position regarding my marriage. My wife has got fed up with me, thinks depression is just a made up excuse and has found someone else. It is so painful to be treated like this by someone you thought for years was your biggest supporter and best friend.
I dread to think the impact that this is having on my children.

Bright spots are few and far between but can come at unexpected times and from unexpected sources. Try to take it a day at a time and not woory beyond that if you can. You are not the only one in this position, and there is support here and in other places for you.

[Pilule]

That's the thing with depression, it robs us of the very thing that could help out of it.