I don't know what to do anymore

[Axel]

I started feeling down all the time when I was about 11 years old. I have physically and emotionally abusive parents. At first, I thought it was normal, like everyone's parents were like that. I know that's not true now but no matter how hard I try, I'm stuck home. I would run away and lived with anyone I could. I ended up staying with older men that would use me but I didn't care as long as I wasn't home. I would sometimes sleep on the street because i had nowhere to go. I started falling behind in school because I felt it was useless and I couldn't pay attention. I got bullied in school for being "emo." I started to skip school because I would get hit here too. I started to feel useless and horrible because i felt like no one cared. I tried telling the police so i could get away from it all but they never believed me. My sister is afraid to admit to the police because she's afraid of never seeing me. I'm 15 years old now and still stuck with abusive parents. I started smoking and drinking to "relieve" stress. I've self-harmed for 3 years now and I have suicidal thoughts almost every night. The only reason I haven't committed suicide is because I'm afraid. That fear is slowly disappearing though. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
I wish someone would help me but they don't. They think I'm just trying to rebel and get my parents in trouble but I'm not. I just want to be able to feel safe and happy.

[sbw]

Hey girl. I CARE, first of all. Have you told counselors? teachers at school? Have you tried calling social services? I'm trying to think of anyone that could help. There has to be some way out. I almost wonder if you went to a woman's shelter and just said, please help me. You are so young, you have so much life to live once you get away from those parents of yours. Go to school, first of all, get good grades, you need to graduate, that will help you get a job. Go to college. Just do it, you can get loans to help you pay. Ok, those are some long term goals. Also, just saying, make sure you are using birth control no matter what. Too early for kids. I will call social services myself and let them know, if you want. I will, I"m a teacher, I know how it works, I won't stop calling, that's how it works actually. I live in CO, but I know what to say, I can call, what city and state? do you want to email me? I was abused at your age. I am now 44 years old, I have a daughter, I am a teacher, I live a good life. Don't let anyone take you out, don't you give up, stay strong, you can get through this, don't' let evil win. Evil is a strong word, but don't. You are good, you can defeat this, don't let your parents break you down, you can get out of this. you will, you will conquer, and you will be that much stronger for doing so. You will get through, don't let anyone get in your way. I believe in you, you are here, you have tried to get help. Keep trying, don't give up. Let me know what I can do. -Suzanne

[sbw]

Oh I assumed you were a girl, sorry. I might have that wrong. My bad.