Honestly don't know what to do

[staystrong45]

What do I do? I have struggled with a binge eating disorder for two years now, well bulimia too. But that isn't the problem anymore. I just don't have any motivation to get better. I just don't care anymore. And I know by looking at what I just said it might seem like I am exaggerating. But I'm not. I hate it when people judge you on these things for how you feel.

I guess I am just stressed out which has caused the depression to worsen. I have harder classes and my school sport has started. But I don't enjoy doing anything. I come home and all I wanna do is get away from everyone. I don't have any motivation to get healthy and I don't try to make friends anymore. I figure no one likes me or thinks I'm awkward. Why would a guy want me? That's another thing. Prom is coming up and I don't even want to go. I'm not a weird person. I used to be popular and have tons of friends but now I threw it all away just because I couldn't handle my problems so I pushed everyone away. And I know that others may have it worse than I do. But I have what I have and I still am upset. And that makes me feel so guilty.

I don't know. It's so hard for me to describe how I feel. No one can really understand how sad someone is. It's different for everyone. But I am just so tired of trying. I want highschool to be over. I hate seeing people and feeling constantly judged about how I look and who I am. If i care about anything, I guess it would be what others think. Which is stupid I dont know why I think that way. I just don't know where to turn from here. I've tried talking to dietitians and therapists and everything. I don't know what I should do if i ever want to get better.

[_Ihatethislife/:]

I know exactly how you feel. all of your pain is taking control over you, all those problems .. ofcourse you're going to start pushing people away. and yes, I might not know you but I bet that you're beautiful and amazing. don't worry to much about what others think about you, even though yes I know its hard, but most of them wouldn't even understand all the pain that you're feeling, they wouldn't understand why you suddenly started pushing all your friends away.. you should send me a message and I could honestly try to help you out. but please, DONT GIVE UP.