A Negative Message

[Destination]

LOL Warmie is right, listening to "war stories" is a bad idea, because every relationship is different. Relationships are like fingerprints, no two are the same.

And anyway, all you got to do is find a girl that loves Star Trek as much as you

[DianaBananas]

I have known death. For 20 minutes, I was there and it truly is nothing to fear. I had a massive heart attack in August of 2006 and went into cardiac arrest on the cath table. I knew I was going.....I had looked at the video screen that showed they were in my artery with the catheter and wondered why the pain wasnt going away. Usually it went away as soon as they inflated the balloon. As my head began to roll to the right, I heard the Doctor screaming and freaking out....I had clotted. In that brief instant, I was gone. I wasnt alone on the other side...there was a male behind me and my first question was "did I die". Only one word...."yes". My next question was "what about my family"? The answer...."they'll be fine". All worry disappeared after that. I was still "me"....the pain was gone and I felt happy. It was dark and warm and I was being cradled, like a baby. After that, me and whoever was with me, took off, but that part I cannot remember clearly since they drugged me heavily. They had begun CPR on me and defibrolated me 17 times. I saw nor felt any of this. My upper GI tract began to bleed and my kidneys failed. I was totally absent and never felt any of this. I was amazed at how easy it was to die. The bad memory was coming back into my body. It felt like I was entering an uncooked piece of meat....cold and slimy and heavy. I did not want to come back, but for some reason I had to, I guess. I woke, the next day, in intensive care with a respirator. I remember the nurses telling me their greatest fear was waking up on a respirator. 3 days later I had another heart attack and 4 days after that, yet another. At the same time, I was going through a traumatic and cruel divorce and I wondered why I had to come back to face that. To this day I dont know why. I wanted to stay. I still wish I had stayed. Today, with all the pain I'm suffering, both mentally and physically, I still wish I had never come back. Suffering is monumental....for all people, everywhere. I never did understand why suffering was such an integral part of a human beings life....some of us grow from it....others are crippled by it. For my part, I am tired of it. It's been a rough week for me. Sorry if I upset anyone...dont mean to.

[Destination]

((( DianaBananas )))

I am so sorry to hear about that terrible time for you and I can only hope things get better for you.

I believe that everyone is alive for some purpose. I'm not sure of my purpose yet, but maybe your purpose is to tell other people that there is nothing to fear about the other side?

[DianaBananas]

Maybe that, Sweety...maybe it was to see my Dad go over to the other side. I lost him 2 months ago, to alzheimers. Now my Mom has to be taken care of and she and I have had a rocky, rocky past. Oh, she's spry...so is her mouth...LOL. I honestly feel that we all come into this world with a mission...a contract, so to speak, to do something for God. When that mission is complete, we get to go "home". Obviously, mine is not finished yet. I havent had any medicine or had a Doctor for 2 years.....I lost my insurance in 2010. Yet, here I am!!! After 8 heart attacks, how is that possible? The night I took the phone call from hospice, telling me my Dad had passed, my lips turned blue. That's cyanosis....usually it happens to me when an artery is shutting down. But that's all that happened and I've had no heart troubles. You know what I love? When I died, it was because my Ex was divorcing me and had cut off my phones and all my utilities. He had left me with no money and I had already had 2 heart attacks, months before. He was actually trying to kill me to make the divorce easier for him. It surely must suck when you're trying to kill your wife...and succeed...only to have the b*tch come back to life again....LOL. It took him 2 years and a WHOLE lotta money before that divorce was final....LOL. Ahhhhhhh, vengeance is sweet!!!!

[Destination]

Lol true, some men are just not very nice at all, and I for one am glad your ex did not succeed

The fact that you've had all those heart attacks and are still alive today says to me that you must be alive for a good reason. I hope you find out what it is and that it brings you some peace.